The Tenderness of Wolves Book Review

The Tenderness of Wolves: A Novel by Stef Penney

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Considering how much I love books, it's odd that I never joined a book club--until last month. Perhaps Chewing a Leaf attracted me because of the feminine themes, but it may just be the awesome community of women that are part of it. I can't wait to talk with them about it! Our first book was The Tenderness of Wolves by Stef Penney.

The first chapter didn’t grab me. The sentences and thoughts seemed stilted. I didn’t feel the rhythm or lyricism of the style. I didn’t know much of anything about the character (his? her?) perspective.

As I continued, I realized that the stiltedness, commas littered like boulders, reflect the way that many of us think—the way the main character was thinking—the way a story is revealed…. The commas were not boulders but lightning flashes in the night.

The story revealed is of Mrs. Ross, an immigrant to Canada in the mid-1800s. She and her husband live in a colony that backs up to dense forests, and she finds herself afraid of those wilds. Although Mrs. Ross seems strong of spirit, we find that she takes some sort of sedative to calm her inner wilds. And, when a murder occurs in her community, we find that the line between savagery and civility becomes blurred.

What I initially thought was a lack of rhythm or lyricism, was what made the story interesting. This is not a fast-moving book, but the pace is justified so as to illuminate the complex plot. Stef Penney has a poetic style, creating well-developed characters who harbor enough secrets and veiled longings to keep you unsure and interested in the resolution. All came together in the end, leaving you with just enough answers to be satisfied…and just enough unresolved longing to feel the humanity of it all.

I had a Saturday to devote to this book and thoroughly enjoyed it.

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Corner View California...where you go to just be

Solitude. I have some spectacular natural places that I feel particularly meditative in, but they're not just out my back door. And when I need solitude, I need it right then and there. I call it "space." When I need some space, I head for my bed, curl up, and let my mind spiral out.

I've been needing quite a bit of space lately. My mom passed away in March, and in a couple days we are journeying to where she wanted to return.

I could describe for you how beautiful this place is, how beautiful my mom, my thoughts on death and spirit.... The words arise but quickly dissolve, like a mirage, and I find myself, toes dangling, at the edge of the universe.

As cathartic as writing, friendship, and keeping busy have been, I am at a singularity. I can only be present. Thoughts, like tendrils of the Milky Way...the inessential loosening orbit.... Solitude is calling.

Today's theme was "places of reflection...where you go to just be." For other reflective places, check out my sidebar.

Next week is "the unveiling, showing your true self." Wow. I wish I wasn't disappearing for a couple weeks. Maybe I'll have my unveiling when I get back. See you then....

To play along and share your corner view, contact Jane at Spain Daily.

Corner View California...staple foods

PIZZA!!! Okay, now that I'm done with my food frenzy, I can rationally say that pizza is not really a staple food in the normal sense of the word. I would love to show pictures of delicious, seasonal, and local produce. Things like tomatoes, onions, garlic, artisanal cheeses and breads, honey.... But, truth be told, I love pizza. There's just no substitute when you don't want to cook. You know what I'm having for breakfast tomorrow!

To see staple foods in other parts of the world, check out the participants in my sidebar.

And, if you'd like to participate, contact Jane at Spain Daily. Next week's theme is "places of reflection...where you go to just be..."

Corner View California...music

My husband breathes music. If it were socially acceptable, he would probably sing instead of speak.

His band members are pretty rockin’ too, and they’re all great guys. Together, they’re called Cricket Culture.

I get front row seats every Tuesday when they practice in my living room.

But this video is from a local t.v. feature last year. Enjoy!

Check out my sidebar for other Corner View participants. And if you want to join in, contact Jane at Spain Daily. Next week’s theme is staple foods.

Houdini Mama

On Father’s Day, my dad suggested watching Into the Wild. It’s a true story about a young man who is disgusted with his dysfunctional family and disillusioned with society. He breaks all ties and embarks on a quest. Many a young person has set out on such a quest. I did. I wanted to break free from old childhood wounds. I wanted to run wild and free.

During pregnancy, I began thinking about my childhood and what I wanted for my daughter. I found myself excavating old wounds and crying on my husband’s shoulder. While his doublespeak and reflectiveness were not what I was looking for, he helped me to realize that blaming my parents or society was not serving me, that, as an adult, I needed to take control of and move forward in my life—instead of dragging the past around like a ball and chain. When I looked down, I saw that there were others, many of my own device. And, I, like Houdini.

On this journey of motherhood, I have wriggled out of many a chain. But I realized that I am not a supermom. I believe that it is an illusion. As much as we try, we cannot possibly be Ideal parents. My childhood was not ideal…but it was good. It was enough. We cannot be everything for each other. My parents couldn’t be everything for me. My partner can’t be everything for me. And, as much as I yearn to, I can’t be everything for my daughter. We each have our own life path, our own search for meaning and reconciliation. Sure we influence each other, but we can’t fulfill each other completely.

Oh, there are days. Days when I look down, and there’s that ball and chain again, with my initials carved into it. I can envision an ideal and am very hard on myself when I see those chains there—again! Know what I mean?!

We can’t fulfill each other, because we’re already whole. We’ve just forgotten. We must forgive ourselves and move again towards awareness. We all do our best with what we’ve got. The more we connect with each other, the more we “get.” We are not really separate.

“Driven by the force of love, the fragments of the world seek each other that the world may come into being.” Tiellhard de Chardin

Happy Father's Day!

My first memories of my dad were about how much he and my mom loved each other. I remember, too, being part of that love. My dad worked hard and studied diligently in college, but he also knew how to have fun. Whether it was throwing me up high in the grocery store, the tickle bugs, camping trips, finding a steep sledding hill, or crankin' up the rock 'n' roll! As I got older, my dad made time to do things, just the two of us, like hiking down to the river, skiing, or taking a drive and just talking. That was really important to me, even in my "eye-rolling, I've-got-it-all-figured-out" teenager stage.

And now I have the pleasure of seeing this from a mom's point of view, seeing my daughter and husband together. On the tougher days, it's enough to make a mom green with jealousy, but mostly it's incredibly heart-warming. My daughter already knows what it means to be a girl (and a mother, in some sense). It's from her father that she learns what a good man is: someone who works hard to provide for his family and pursues his passions, someone who likes to figure things out himself but isn't afraid to ask for help or collaboration, someone who spins a good story but knows when to listen, someone who loves life and knows how to play. I see my husband inspire my daughter in ways that I do not. And for us, for now, that's just the way it should be.

I am so grateful for these two fine men in my life. I hope that they both know how very much I appreciate them.

What do you appreciate about the fathers in your life?

Home Brewin' Papas

Last year for Father's Day, I wanted to get something that my husband and dad would both enjoy to do together. Hmmm.... They get along well...and both appreciate a good beer. So, I decided to get them a gift certificate to The Home Brew Outlet. Although brewing took a backseat to more important things last year, they ended up getting together a couple months ago to work on it.

My dad used to brew and enjoyed it. A little of this, a little of that-and voila! You know, the good stuff. What he didn't remember was how much time and tending it takes. And since he lives a ways away, doing it together just wasn't gonna work. While I was a little disappointed, my two awesome men seemed cool with it. Before my dad left that day, he helped get the supplies ready...

...and told a hilarious story about sampling the compressed hops.

The moral of the story is...don't do it! You'll never get the taste off your tongue!

My dad left, and my husband happily assumed the role of mad scientist! He sterilized the brew water and then began the wort. He added malted barley and let it cook. The house smelled sooo pungent and good!

Then he added the sugar and malt syrup and cooked it some more. All this sterilizing and cooking is what took the longest time that first day.

My hubby then cooled the wort quickly and siphoned it into the fermentor. He topped it off with sterilized water, added the yeast, and aerated. Now we were to wait for it to do its magic for a couple weeks.

So we waited. And watched. Later the next day the percolator announced that something was happening. (Sorry I couldn't rotate this video. You'll just have to imagine that you've had a few too many ales!)

And a couple days later we could see massive churning in the carboy.

We were making beer! This was very exciting (even though I prefer tequila)!

The tedious part now lay ahead of us: sanitizing everything.

My husband and I washed the bottles...

...then bleached them...

...then thoroughly rinsed them.

That's a lot of bottles! I'll refrain from singing that boisterous, back of the schoolbus song that you know you sang as a kid! Woa-ah-ah!

My little creamy shadow thought this was all very interesting, though!

After fermenting for two weeks, it was time to round 'er up! My husband transferred the beer to the bottling container and added the priming sugar. I gently stirred, as he bottled.

Then he capped them all and let them sit for two more weeks.

When they were done, we split the beer between us and my dad. And then, well, I'm sorry to report, the beer fairy must have come and drank it all, because I don't have any pictures of the finished product! (I wonder if that happened to my dad, too?)

Next Father's Day-a kegerator!