Through the Eye of the Needle

99 Things

2009-12-31T13:34:00.000-08:00

I am so happy that Mon started this list of 99 Things. I love hearing others’ unique stories, and remembering that my life, too, is pretty amazing. It pulled me out of my doldrums (which is quite a feat). I mean, really, look at that face! Since all this joy was bubbling up, I decided to honor it and share it—my very personal list of 99 Things.

Things I’ve already done: bolded.
Things I want to do: italicized.

I was born to an amazing mom.

I’ve been loved by an amazing family.

I’ve met wonder-full people.

Walk across America.

I had a summer job helping a photographer map Montana from a small Cessna.

I gave birth to a daughter, who has taught me much.

I witnessed death.

I opened myself to love.

I saw my teen idol in a café but had since found true love.

Three words someone said to me that I’ll never forget, “Love takes time.”

Commune with nature.

I’ve paddled a canoe.

I have snow-shoed.

I helped build a snow fort.

I’ve attended rendezvous and powwows.

I stepped on and set off a series of poacher’s traps.

I’ve watched salmon spawn.

I’ve witnessed a decline in the salmon populations.

I learned to love a place that used to make me cry.

Advocate for nature.

I have caught fish and crawdads (and ate them).

Learn wilderness awareness skills.

Been caught stealing (once when I was 10).

Falsely arrested for stealing when I was 21 in a police training exercise.

I kicked a posse of carjackers out of my car.

Get to know my town on bike.

I have hitchhiked in a group and alone.

Travel with my family.

Ride a train through Glacier National Park in the winter.

Hike the Pacific Crest Trail from Mexico to Canada.

Visit the Pacific Northwest.

Visit the American Southwest.

I’ve slept on the beach and next to the river.

Regularly swim in the river.

Skinny dip.

Cliff dive.

I chose to be homeless.

I refused to remove a nose ring for a job.

I dyed my hair (purple, red, blue), but now watch it turn silver.

I harbor ~~two~~ three un-amendable regrets.

Choose awareness.

Increase my capacity to sit with others' grief.

Practice communicating better.

Stop thinking you have people figured out.

Be present.

In high school, I won competitions for flute performance.

I also ran 12 miles a day for cross-country.

My knees turned to jelly during a piano recital.

My knees turned to jelly when facing a bear in the mountains.

I broke my collarbone skiing.

I was sexually harassed as a teen.

I stopped a light rail security guard from sexually harassing two teens.

Take a model mugging class.

I cheered as my husband fought in the Thunderdome.

I protested wars.

I wrestled my own dragons.

I experienced sleep paralysis.

I have experienced techno-paralysis and actively resist cell phones and Facebook.

I learned to say no.

Learn to say yes.

Learn more about democracy, anarchy, and personal/social responsibility.

Create community.

Host parties with singing, dancing, costuming, and play.

Explore creativity.

I discovered Native American artifacts.

I went on a night forest hike with friends.

I experienced the supernatural.

Go on a Vision Quest.

I have felt completely empty.

I have felt enlightened.

I have splashed barefoot in rain puddles.

Learn to love my body.

Learn African drumming.

Learn juggling.

Learn fire poi.

I sang in two operas (Bach Mass in b minor and The Carmina Burana).

Find my voice.

I carved a lyre.

I hammered a copper bowl.

I want to learn woodworking.

I serendipitously encountered anthropology, linguistics, and Waldorf Education.

Learn to take baby steps.

Become self-employed.

Become a journalist.

Write and publish a book.

Learn the art of oral storytelling.

Become a librarian.

Visit The Library of Congress.

I studied herbalism and naturopathy.

I smoked cigarettes for seven years.

I was a vegetarian for seven years.

I ate a chocolate-covered cricket.

Grow my own food.

Raise chickens, goats, and bees.

Learn how to preserve foods.

Let go of ‘scarcity’.

Embrace possibility.

Remember what is essential.

Love.

Happy New Year, everyone!

Like Water for Chocolate Book Review

2009-12-27T19:48:00.001-08:00

Like Water for Chocolate: A Novel in Monthly Installments with Recipes, Romances, and Home Remedies by Laura Esquivel

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Like Water for Chocolate is the coming of age tale of Tita, a young Mexican girl cursed by tradition to serve her mother until her death. Out of her many duties, she finds a love of cooking. In the kitchen she learns the family history and culture. Every dish she makes is biographical and has a supernatural effect upon those who eat it. If she is bitter—so is her food. If she is lusty—so pairs of guests find reasons to excuse themselves. Tita, herself, falls in love with a boy named Pedro, but is bound to serve her mother and never marry. It is only through food that she can express her own coming of age and sensuality.

I first heard this tale as a movie—near my own coming of age. My roommates and I went and saw it five times! The story is very sensual and rich in metaphor. I loved it! I still do. However, reading the book as an adult, I am not as moved. Was the movie better? I don’t know. Am I just different now? Maybe. I was put off by the ending, because I think the passion Tita was feeling for Pedro was lust—not enduring love. What substance was there? What character? The ending was too abrupt. Ah, well. It was an enjoyable quick read. I did not mind passing a day in youthful romance.

View all my reviews >>

Dancing Your Joy

2009-12-15T14:39:00.000-08:00

When my sister started college in September, I told her I’d take a class with her. Unfortunately, most of her classes were in the daytime, while I was busy home-schooling my daughter. So, she suggested an African Dance class on Friday nights. At first I said no. I’ve got a pretty funky rhythm, one that doesn’t conform to any recognizable dance patterns. Oh, there was a trail of reasons. But, in the end, none of them really made sense. So, before I could think about it any further, I said yes. Every Friday we walked to class together and danced together for three hours. I needed it. Darkness was swallowing me. I needed to bring some light into my body. It was great fun. Our dance group was wonderful, the teacher was fantastic, and there were live drummers! The only thing I didn’t like was when we had to lead a dance move—and the mounting dread about the final performance. Since the final wasn’t required, I decided that I wouldn’t do it. No, uh-uh, no way. My sister, as usual, was very understanding. She would do it whether I did it or not. After wrestling with this No Monster that lives in me, I said yes. The Monster was still there backstage, subdued, but not without great force. It was scary. But I did it and am thankful. I’m thankful for my sister. I am inspired by her willing and open spirit. Thank you for dancing your joy, sis. And HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!

The Red Tent Book Review

2009-12-08T10:20:00.000-08:00

The Red Tent: A Novel: Tenth-Anniversary Edition by Anita Diamant

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

A year ago I read Anita Diamant’s The Red Tent, but when it came up on my women’s book group last month, I didn’t hesitate to read it again. The story resonated with me. Upon finishing it last year, I ran to the only private place in the house—the bathroom. I closed the door behind me and sat on the toilet in the darkness and cried and cried and cried. It felt like I was crying for all the women since the beginning of time. I cried tears of joy for their awakened desires, their possibilities and passion. I cried bitter tears for their thwarted desires, their suffering. I cried for my mom. I cried for my daughter. I cried for me.

Although our culture doesn’t celebrate women’s cycles, they are such a powerful part of who we are. Our cycles connect us to the cycles of nature, to pain and its release, and to each other. And in that way, Anita Diamant revealed the hearts of the women of The Old Testament. Diamant does a beautiful job of setting the scene so that we are there with the wives of Jacob, spinning, weaving, gardening, cooking. Although they end up sharing a husband and children (not always willingly), they are unified in their womanhood. They come together monthly in the red tent to celebrate their cycle and nurture each other.

Beyond the red tent, they are bound by their duties. They have to stay together to survive. This is what I got from my second reading. Their togetherness, their shared histories, their trials and tribulations, their rituals and celebrations, awakens in me—centuries later—not so much a desire to return to their way of life, but a yearning for community. While independence is so highly valued, perhaps we need to come together to survive, as well.

That said, Diamant does not idealize the women and men in her retelling. There is bestiality, racism, sexism, murder, rape…. This is the story of Dinah, the only daughter of Jacob, a mere footnote in The Old Testament. It is her view of the red tent. It is her journey away from the red tent, from her pastoral life, from her brothers’ destinies. She must leave her family to find her tribe, herself. Although her journey is not without suffering, I found a few of the situations in her path to be a little too serendipitous, uncharacteristically easy. However, that was easy for me to overlook in part, I think, because, before she left her homeland, the oracle foresaw something—something big?—something else for Dinah—a path her own. You can’t argue with destiny, can you now?

Diamant breathes life into ancient biblical figures and gives voice to those who had no voice—audacious, this godlike act. Is it blasphemous? Historically inaccurate? A feminist’s diatribe? You’ll have to decide that for yourself. But read it. Read it if you are a young woman or an old woman. Read it with your mom or your sisters or women friends. Read it if you are religious or not. It’s a damn good tale.

View all my reviews >>

The Tenderness of Wolves Book Review

2009-11-03T09:15:00.000-08:00

The Tenderness of Wolves: A Novel by Stef Penney

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Considering how much I love books, it's odd that I never joined a book club--until last month. Perhaps Chewing a Leaf attracted me because of the feminine themes, but it may just be the awesome community of women that are part of it. I can't wait to talk with them about it! Our first book was The Tenderness of Wolves by Stef Penney.

The first chapter didn’t grab me. The sentences and thoughts seemed stilted. I didn’t feel the rhythm or lyricism of the style. I didn’t know much of anything about the character (his? her?) perspective.

As I continued, I realized that the stiltedness, commas littered like boulders, reflect the way that many of us think—the way the main character was thinking—the way a story is revealed…. The commas were not boulders but lightning flashes in the night.

The story revealed is of Mrs. Ross, an immigrant to Canada in the mid-1800s. She and her husband live in a colony that backs up to dense forests, and she finds herself afraid of those wilds. Although Mrs. Ross seems strong of spirit, we find that she takes some sort of sedative to calm her inner wilds. And, when a murder occurs in her community, we find that the line between savagery and civility becomes blurred.

What I initially thought was a lack of rhythm or lyricism, was what made the story interesting. This is not a fast-moving book, but the pace is justified so as to illuminate the complex plot. Stef Penney has a poetic style, creating well-developed characters who harbor enough secrets and veiled longings to keep you unsure and interested in the resolution. All came together in the end, leaving you with just enough answers to be satisfied…and just enough unresolved longing to feel the humanity of it all.

I had a Saturday to devote to this book and thoroughly enjoyed it.

View all my reviews >>

Corner View California...where you go to just be

2009-07-08T07:54:00.000-07:00

Solitude. I have some spectacular natural places that I feel particularly meditative in, but they're not just out my back door. And when I need solitude, I need it right then and there. I call it "space." When I need some space, I head for my bed, curl up, and let my mind spiral out.

I've been needing quite a bit of space lately. My mom passed away in March, and in a couple days we are journeying to where she wanted to return.

I could describe for you how beautiful this place is, how beautiful my mom, my thoughts on death and spirit.... The words arise but quickly dissolve, like a mirage, and I find myself, toes dangling, at the edge of the universe.

As cathartic as writing, friendship, and keeping busy have been, I am at a singularity. I can only be present. Thoughts, like tendrils of the Milky Way...the inessential loosening orbit.... Solitude is calling.

Today's theme was "places of reflection...where you go to just be." For other reflective places, check out my sidebar.

Next week is "the unveiling, showing your true self." Wow. I wish I wasn't disappearing for a couple weeks. Maybe I'll have my unveiling when I get back. See you then....

To play along and share your corner view, contact Jane at Spain Daily.

Corner View California...staple foods

2009-07-01T00:00:00.000-07:00

PIZZA!!! Okay, now that I'm done with my food frenzy, I can rationally say that pizza is not really a staple food in the normal sense of the word. I would love to show pictures of delicious, seasonal, and local produce. Things like tomatoes, onions, garlic, artisanal cheeses and breads, honey.... But, truth be told, I love pizza. There's just no substitute when you don't want to cook. You know what I'm having for breakfast tomorrow!

To see staple foods in other parts of the world, check out the participants in my sidebar.

And, if you'd like to participate, contact Jane at Spain Daily. Next week's theme is "places of reflection...where you go to just be..."

Corner View California...music

2009-06-23T14:27:00.001-07:00

My husband breathes music. If it were socially acceptable, he would probably sing instead of speak.

His band members are pretty rockin’ too, and they’re all great guys. Together, they’re called Cricket Culture.

I get front row seats every Tuesday when they practice in my living room.

But this video is from a local t.v. feature last year. Enjoy!

Check out my sidebar for other Corner View participants. And if you want to join in, contact Jane at Spain Daily. Next week’s theme is staple foods.

Houdini Mama

2009-06-23T09:37:00.000-07:00

On Father’s Day, my dad suggested watching Into the Wild. It’s a true story about a young man who is disgusted with his dysfunctional family and disillusioned with society. He breaks all ties and embarks on a quest. Many a young person has set out on such a quest. I did. I wanted to break free from old childhood wounds. I wanted to run wild and free.

During pregnancy, I began thinking about my childhood and what I wanted for my daughter. I found myself excavating old wounds and crying on my husband’s shoulder. While his doublespeak and reflectiveness were not what I was looking for, he helped me to realize that blaming my parents or society was not serving me, that, as an adult, I needed to take control of and move forward in my life—instead of dragging the past around like a ball and chain. When I looked down, I saw that there were others, many of my own device. And, I, like Houdini.

On this journey of motherhood, I have wriggled out of many a chain. But I realized that I am not a supermom. I believe that it is an illusion. As much as we try, we cannot possibly be Ideal parents. My childhood was not ideal…but it was good. It was enough. We cannot be everything for each other. My parents couldn’t be everything for me. My partner can’t be everything for me. And, as much as I yearn to, I can’t be everything for my daughter. We each have our own life path, our own search for meaning and reconciliation. Sure we influence each other, but we can’t fulfill each other completely.

Oh, there are days. Days when I look down, and there’s that ball and chain again, with my initials carved into it. I can envision an ideal and am very hard on myself when I see those chains there—again! Know what I mean?!

We can’t fulfill each other, because we’re already whole. We’ve just forgotten. We must forgive ourselves and move again towards awareness. We all do our best with what we’ve got. The more we connect with each other, the more we “get.” We are not really separate.

“Driven by the force of love, the fragments of the world seek each other that the world may come into being.” Tiellhard de Chardin

Happy Father's Day!

2009-06-21T00:00:00.000-07:00

My first memories of my dad were about how much he and my mom loved each other. I remember, too, being part of that love. My dad worked hard and studied diligently in college, but he also knew how to have fun. Whether it was throwing me up high in the grocery store, the tickle bugs, camping trips, finding a steep sledding hill, or crankin' up the rock 'n' roll! As I got older, my dad made time to do things, just the two of us, like hiking down to the river, skiing, or taking a drive and just talking. That was really important to me, even in my "eye-rolling, I've-got-it-all-figured-out" teenager stage.

And now I have the pleasure of seeing this from a mom's point of view, seeing my daughter and husband together. On the tougher days, it's enough to make a mom green with jealousy, but mostly it's incredibly heart-warming. My daughter already knows what it means to be a girl (and a mother, in some sense). It's from her father that she learns what a good man is: someone who works hard to provide for his family and pursues his passions, someone who likes to figure things out himself but isn't afraid to ask for help or collaboration, someone who spins a good story but knows when to listen, someone who loves life and knows how to play. I see my husband inspire my daughter in ways that I do not. And for us, for now, that's just the way it should be.

I am so grateful for these two fine men in my life. I hope that they both know how very much I appreciate them.

What do you appreciate about the fathers in your life?

Home Brewin' Papas

2009-06-20T06:58:00.000-07:00

Last year for Father's Day, I wanted to get something that my husband and dad would both enjoy to do together. Hmmm.... They get along well...and both appreciate a good beer. So, I decided to get them a gift certificate to The Home Brew Outlet. Although brewing took a backseat to more important things last year, they ended up getting together a couple months ago to work on it.

My dad used to brew and enjoyed it. A little of this, a little of that-and voila! You know, the good stuff. What he didn't remember was how much time and tending it takes. And since he lives a ways away, doing it together just wasn't gonna work. While I was a little disappointed, my two awesome men seemed cool with it. Before my dad left that day, he helped get the supplies ready...

...and told a hilarious story about sampling the compressed hops.

The moral of the story is...don't do it! You'll never get the taste off your tongue!

My dad left, and my husband happily assumed the role of mad scientist! He sterilized the brew water and then began the wort. He added malted barley and let it cook. The house smelled sooo pungent and good!

Then he added the sugar and malt syrup and cooked it some more. All this sterilizing and cooking is what took the longest time that first day.

My hubby then cooled the wort quickly and siphoned it into the fermentor. He topped it off with sterilized water, added the yeast, and aerated. Now we were to wait for it to do its magic for a couple weeks.

So we waited. And watched. Later the next day the percolator announced that something was happening. (Sorry I couldn't rotate this video. You'll just have to imagine that you've had a few too many ales!)

And a couple days later we could see massive churning in the carboy.

We were making beer! This was very exciting (even though I prefer tequila)!

The tedious part now lay ahead of us: sanitizing everything.

My husband and I washed the bottles...

...then bleached them...

...then thoroughly rinsed them.

That's a lot of bottles! I'll refrain from singing that boisterous, back of the schoolbus song that you know you sang as a kid! Woa-ah-ah!

My little creamy shadow thought this was all very interesting, though!

After fermenting for two weeks, it was time to round 'er up! My husband transferred the beer to the bottling container and added the priming sugar. I gently stirred, as he bottled.

Then he capped them all and let them sit for two more weeks.

When they were done, we split the beer between us and my dad. And then, well, I'm sorry to report, the beer fairy must have come and drank it all, because I don't have any pictures of the finished product! (I wonder if that happened to my dad, too?)

Next Father's Day-a kegerator!

Corner View California...street fashion

2009-06-17T13:25:00.000-07:00

I almost didn't do this week's corner view. It's not that I don't like fashion; I do. I love the way people express themselves with color and fabric. It's not that I think our little city is without fashion. It's no San Fransisco or Tokyo, but it's colorful in its own way.

It's just that...I'm horribly shy. Taking pictures of nature and my family are one thing, but I've never taken pictures of people I've never met. But my girl Mel was in my head, encouraging me to push the boundaries of my comfort level. So, I (literally) dragged my pre-teen daughter out to the farmer's market and proceeded to embarrass the hell out of her.

I pictured myself climbing a tree and taking pictures from there.... But that wouldn't do it. I could just sit somewhere all day and take pictures of whoever passed before my lense.... Don't think that would have gone over too well with my daughter! So, I started out by taking pictures of people from a distance. Vegetables are the new accessory!

Two little birds.

Two more cool birds.

Skater boys skate to the market.

Bicyclists bicycle.

Check out her cool boombox purse!

After the unsatisfactory experience of taking photos from a distance, I got the nerve up to ask this chick if I could take her picture. She was very sweet. I have some chocolate mint in my garden from Woodsong Herbs. Mmmm....

This gal was also so very nice to let me photograph her. She had highlights in her hair that complemented her outfit.

Meet Johannes and Phillipe. They're from Finland and are traveling around California for the summer. They were friendly. How could they not be with the most awesome national anthem in the world?! I woulda talked with them more, but I'm still making my debut.

After I bought my daughter a lemon Italian ice, we walked back to the car. I said, "That wasn't so bad, was it?" She said that she wanted to hide, but that she liked Johannes and Phillipe. She saw this face on the way back to our car.

Check out others' street fashion around the world:

jane, ladybug-zen, ian, bonnie, esti, sophie, cele, modsquad,

caitlin, joyce, ani, kim, a day that is dessert, natsumi, epe, kaylovesvintage, trinsch, c.t., jeannette, outi, schanett, ritva, francesca, state of bliss, jennifer, dana, denise, cabrizette, bohemia girl, dianna, isabelle, amber, a girl in the yellow shoes, mister e, janis, kari, jgy, skymring, elizabeth, audrey, allison, lise, cate, mon, victoria, crescent moon, erin, otli, amy, ida, caroline, lisa, dorte, kimmie, la lune dans le ciel, nicola, malo, vanessa, britta, virgina, april, b , kyndale samantha, karen, kristina, dorit, goldensunfamily, sophie, janet, mcgillicutty, desiree, di, travelingmama, aimee, sunnymama, amanda, ali, jenell, guusje, britta, juanita, pamela, inna, daan, myrtille, cris, ibb , susi, jodi , lily , gillian,

jeanette, athena, pienduzz, latisha, clairette, satsuki

Next week´s theme comes from Lisa and is "music."

Contact Jane if you want to play along!

The Sisterhood of the Purple Bicycle

2009-06-16T08:34:00.000-07:00

Last week an invitation arrived on the breeze. Mel, over at From clutter to Shine , wrote about a recent experience she had personalizing an old bicycle. A shift occurred when she rode her new purple bike, a feeling of living from her source. She found herself waving to people and smiling. Through this experience, Mel found herself wanting to reach out to other women who are on the warrior’s path, women who are on a journey to live from this source. So she created a sisterhood.

It’s not a club or a clique—it’s a sisterhood. You have only to be interested in connecting to your source and supporting your sisters. You don’t even need to fix up or own a bicycle (but it could be liberating!). You are only encouraged to share your process—whatever form it takes—knowing that you have a supportive community around you. How awesome is that?!

Hide not your talents,
They for use were made.
What’s a sundial in the shade?
~Ben Franklin

And so, on the same wind that carried this invitation, I send it out again…an invitation to shine.

Kombucha Experiment #2, Update

2009-06-15T06:00:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago I made kombucha without a mushroom. When a full batch didn't work, I tried halving the recipe. After a week there were little bits of culture here and there, but not a whole mushroom. I decided to let it go for awhile longer. The day before what would be two weeks, there was alot of activity, bubbles galore. But no mushroom still. I told my friends that my experiment had failed and that they'd probably have to find a mushroom through the local Weston Price group.

The very next morning I looked at it...the bubbling had subsided...and there was a mushroom...a whole mushroom! It is pretty thin, but I made a fresh full batch with it today, and (hopefully) it will grow.

It worked! It worked! Yay, it worked! Woo-hoo!

Refreshing Melons

2009-06-13T07:54:00.000-07:00

This week Mon and Mel sent me a Watermelon Award. Sweet!

I accept and reciprocate by sharing six things that make me happy:

I like to wake up in the morning, snuggled in my bed, with a crisp breeze coming through the window. The last few days, I find myself wanting to be there, curled up, not even reading, just being....

In general, I don't like to go to the gym or exercise, but physical exertion is good. And there's something about swimming against a river current that makes me feel alive. Invigorated. That said, I haven't done it since high school....

I love to daydream. The positive side is that I feel creative and am never bored. The negative? I'm too busy daydreaming to do anything!

This week a dear friend, who I've never met in person, sent me a beautiful beaded heart. A just because gift. I'm a tough nut, and this kinda thing cracks me open.

As much as I enjoy solitude, if I were the last person on Earth, I don't know if I'd want to go on. Family and friends make me who I am.

And lastly, I like being around adults who can be vulnerable and who still have a childlike sense of wonder.

In turn, I nominate these refreshing mammas:

Amber, one of the most grateful people I have the privilege of knowing. She is sunshine.

Aurore, a naturopath, friend, and one of the most outspoken women I've met.

Docwitch, an enchanting writer.

Jennifer, an inspiring fiber artist.

Sarah knits the wind into poetry that warms the soul.

Tara, one audacious chick, who shares her journey into sustainability and what that means to her family.

I would love to hear what makes you happy, but please don't feel obligated.

There is much love to go around; pass the melons!

Corner View California...out our back door

2009-06-10T06:00:00.000-07:00

Sunrise.... I don't often see it. But many a morning I've spent drinking a steaming cup of something, and soaking in the sun's rays.

My cats do the same.

Before we bought this house, we'd come and sit amidst these flowers in the backyard. The house had been empty for awhile, and the backyard had a garden gone wild. We loved it.

A friend of mine is a garage sale goddess. She bought us this trampoline for $10! And our beautiful oak wraps us in shade.

The girls like to bounce and imagine an elaborate and fantastical world. I snuck up on them to get this shot. My daughter was upset and literally chased me away.

We've planted fruit trees, flowers, and herbs. We've had wedding receptions and barbeques, birthday parties and Advent celebrations. We've been visited by lizards, preying mantises, flocks of turkeys, skunks, possum.... Birds sing wildly every day. Our yard calls to us, "Come play!"

Visit these Corner Views to see what others around the world see out their back door [or window].

jane, ladybug-zen, ian, bonnie, esti, sophie, cele, modsquad,

caitlin, joyce, ani, kim, a day that is dessert, natsumi, epe, kaylovesvintage, trinsch, c.t., jeannette, outi, schanett, ritva, francesca, state of bliss, jennifer, dana,denise, cabrizette, bohemia girl, ruth, dianna, isabelle, amber, a girl in the yellow shoes, mister e, janis, kari, jgy, jenna, skymring, elizabeth, audrey, allison, lise, cate, victoria, crescent moon, erin, otli, amy, ida, caroline, lisa, dorte, kimmie, la lune dans le ciel, nicola, malo, vanessa,britta, virgina, april, rebecca, b , kyndale samantha, karen, kristina, angelina, dorit, goldensunfamily, sophie, janet, mcgillicutty, desiree, di, travelingmama, aimee, sunnymama amanda, ali, jenell, guusje, britta, juanita, pamela, inna, daan, myrtille, cris, ibb , susi, jodi , lily , jillian, doobleh-vay

And to participate, contact Jane of Spain Daily. Next week's theme is street fashion. Come play!

My name is Oz

2009-06-08T10:20:00.000-07:00

"Ozymandias"

I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them on the sand,
Half sunk, a shatter'd visage lies, whose frown
And wrinkled lip and sneer of cold command
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamp'd on these lifeless things,
The hand that mock'd them and the heart that fed.
And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

~Percy Bysshe Shelley

Trust and Children

2009-06-06T06:00:00.000-07:00

My daughter is seeking more and more freedom. She wants us to trust her, to trust that she can handle what the world brings to her. It's not that I don't trust her.... I'm just not sure that she could assert herself were a dangerous situation to arise. I know it took me awhile to develop that ability.

Many parents will argue that it is not their kids that they distrust, but the neighborhood. I'm to a considerable degree sympathetic with that fear. Partly because fewer kids are outdoors playing, many neighborhoods may in fact be less safe now than then. It used to be that if anyone harassed someone outdoors, there would be many kids around, of all ages, as witnesses and deterrents. It is also the case that today, with both parents in most families away at work, there are fewer adults at home in any given neighborhood, fewer adults who could spot potential problems. People (adults as well as children) are also less likely to know their neighbors today than in the past, and that too makes neighborhoods less safe. And, of course, there are more cars on the streets than there used to be, and communities no longer feel that it is their duty to construct and maintain sidewalks, parks, and playgrounds. “No Child Left Inside”: An Example of The Wrong Way to Solve a National Problem by Peter Gray

It's not that I don't trust the world; I do...for the most part. I think that there is "good" in everyone, but, conversely, I think there is "bad" in everyone. And it is those few who act on their "bad" impulses that I don't trust. When 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys are sexually abused by age 18, how could I?

So, while I love the idea of Free-Range Kids and Summerhill, a HUGE part of me has reservations. I want to do everything in my power to prevent my daughter from becoming a statistic.

However, I remember. I remember ~~thinking~~ feeling that my parents didn't trust in my ability to handle myself in the world. This holding tight and loosening is a process, yes? And so I let go...in small ways. I let Anouk explore with my little sister at the whole earth festival. I let her go to the bathrooms with a friend at a concert in the park (different vibe and fetched them when they lingered). I let her ride bikes with her friends on the camping trip.

I listen to my intuition and encourage her to be aware and listen to hers. But somehow that is not enough. I know there's no going back now. She's hungry to experience the world on her own two feet. Soon, she'll not be satisfied by my intuition and will feel smothered by my fears.

In the next couple of years, I would like to enroll us in this empowering self-defense class, which comes highly recommended by a friend of mine. And, perhaps I should continue to examine what trust means to me. How can I develop trust in her ability to stand on her own two feet? How do I give her the skills she'll need? How do I create a safe environment in the meantime, one in which she can experience freedom?

Work outside of the school system to develop safe places for children to play. Let the legislators in your community know that they should start spending less money on schools and more money on sidewalks, parks, and police protection in areas where children can play. Urge your community to develop and maintain parks that are safe yet provide opportunities for adventure--parks that have woods to explore, trees to climb, ponds and streams to fish in. Develop and support programs that allow children to engage with the outdoors in their own playful ways, on their own time, with others of their own choosing, without adult supervision and certainly without testing. Meet with other parents in your neighborhood to talk about the problem of providing safe places and opportunities to play. Maybe you can set up a neighborhood watch, which will help assure people that the neighborhood is safe for children's play. Maybe you can find ways to take weekend trips with other families, to campgrounds or other places where the kids can play safely, with one another in new and exciting settings, while the adults ignore them and socialize among themselves in their own chosen ways. “No Child Left Inside”: An Example of The Wrong Way to Solve a National Problem by Peter Gray

I want to cut to the quick of trust. Is this enough?

Touched...

2009-06-05T16:24:00.000-07:00

I was steeped in the history of where we camped by the ocean. Poetry danced in my blood. I could call the flora and fauna by first name. The intimacy of the place was alive in me.

I took so many pictures, enamored as I was. But my favorite things were not to be captured.

*Sitting around the campfire, raising our voices to the stars. By chance, we even sang a version of the Om Namah Shivaya song!

*The surprise of finding a note from the fairies and gnomes on our tent with an awesomely artsy t-shirt.

*Playing Mafia with the older kids and adults after the little ones were nestled peacefully in their tents. The patchwork of clouds and stars overhead. And the clap of thunder at a particularly suspenseful moment.

*The communal parenting among my friends is always deeply moving. I love how we interact with and see the best in each others' children (even when they're overstimulated and hungry). How we see the best in each other.

What gifts! I am deeply touched....

Corner View California...beaches

2009-06-03T20:35:00.000-07:00

Northern California beach camping. How good it is to get away from the concrete jungle and breathe with the earth. Our journey was incredible. Where do I start? The scenery was beautiful, and, although foggy the first day, the company was so good for the soul.

The next day the fog looked like it was clearing, and we headed to Stinson Beach. We set up the beach towels and got the lay of the land.

When the gulls cleared, the kids played some sort of beach ball game.

The fog was receding over the hills. Our campsite was nestled up there.

The day was perfect for flying a kite.

Here comes the sun....

Home base, snacking and ocean napping place.

Who can resist?

Flourescent seaweed dredged up from the 80s!

Down the beach....

My girl in the surf.

Waves are like a campfire; you can watch them for hours. Enchanting.

This guy was freeclimbing.

And these little guys looked like they were nestled in tightly, waiting for the tide to come in.

Pretties. This part of the world has an amazing biodiversity.

More pretties.

And this guy was doing what humans do...making something beautiful even more beautiful.

This jellyfish had the most beautiful radiating pattern. Can you imagine being one?!

We played in the surf. We hiked the coastline. We met the local flora and fauna. We sang to the night. We slept on the mountain. Today, I wanted to go to the top. From sea level to 2571 feet. If you look closely, you can see San Francisco in the distance. It was amazing to be in such a seemingly isolated, wild place and be so near the city.

Check out these corner view beaches from across the globe!

jane, ladybug-zen, ian, bonnie, esti, sophie, cele, modsquad,

caitlin, joyce, ani, couturecoucou, kim, a day that is dessert, natsumi, epe, kaylovesvintage,trinsch, c.t.,jeannette, outi, schanett, ritva, dongdong, francesca, state of bliss, jennifer, dana,denise, cabrizette, bohemia girl, ruth, dianna, isabelle, amber, a girl in the yellow shoes, mister e,janis, kari, jgy, jenna, skymring, elizabeth, audrey, allison, lise, cate, mon, victoria, crescent moon, erin, otli, amy, ida, caroline, lisa, dorte, kimmie, la lune dans le ciel, nicola, malo, vanessa,britta, virgina, april, rebecca, b , kyndale

samantha, karen, kristina, angelina, dorit, goldensunfamily, sophie, janet, nicki, ruth, mcgillicutty,

desiree, di, travelingmama, aimee, sunnymama

amanda, ali, jenell, guusje, britta, juanita, pamela, inna, daan, myrtille, cris

Cream of Spinach Soup

2009-06-02T06:00:00.000-07:00

Ingredients

2 cups chopped fresh spinach - packed - (or 1 10-oz package frozen spinach, thawed)
1 cup chopped onion
1/4 cup butter
3 medium potatoes, peeled and quartered (about 1 pound)
1 1/2 cups chicken broth (or vegetable broth for vegetarian option)
1 1/2 cups water
2 chicken bouillon cubes (or vegetable bouillon cubes for vegetarian option)
2 cups half-and-half
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon pepper
3/4 cup sour cream
Optional: chopped chives and/or ground allspice for garnish

Method

1 In a large saucepan over medium heat, sauté onion in butter for 3 minutes or until limp. Add potatoes, chicken broth, water, and bouillon cubes. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low, cover and simmer for 20 minutes or until the potatoes are tender. Add spinach and cook for 2 to 4 minutes longer until spinach is tender.

2 Working in batches, purée soup mixture in a blender. Return to saucepan. Whisk in half-and-half, salt and pepper.

3 Over low heat, bring to just before simmering. Whisk in the sour cream. You may want to use an immersion blender to get the sour cream fully incorporated. This soup can be served hot or chilled. Garnish with chopped chives, sprinkles of allspice, or a dollop of sour cream.

Serves 6 to 8.

Simply Recipes http://simplyrecipes.com

Tree: A Life Story

2009-06-01T06:00:00.000-07:00

Tree: A Life Story by David Suzuki

My review

rating: 4 of 5 stars
Often among scientists, there is a specialization snobbery. “Oh, you’re a chemist." [sneer:] "I’m a biologist." [nose in air:] And between the fields, they can’t see the forest for the trees. It is for that reason that I love ecological sciences. While scientists seek to understand their subject matter from the study of their mechanistic parts, ecology brings them back together—to their interrelated processes. It is a beautiful unity.

David Suzuki is one such scientist. This book is a meaty read, because Suzuki really delves into some plant biology. He then proceeds to weave it together with ecology as well as history. Specifically, the history or 500 year span of one Douglas fir tree. Not only does he describe the biological processes that make it’s existence possible, he describes the evolution of thought through this time—from the native relations with the tree to the medicinal uses of plants; from the growing knowledge of botany to ecosystems; and finally to the lumber industry and it’s effect on the ecosystem.

I did find myself wondering where the two authors were in the book—I could not easily discern their “voices.” And maybe that is just as well—making for a seamless story. And so I refer only to Suzuki—simply because I am familiar with his work. Suzuki’s love of life shines through in his writing, as well as in his tv series (The Nature of Things and The Sacred Balance) and his environmental activism. He is inspiring.

View all my reviews.

Circumambulating...and other adventures

2009-05-30T11:44:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow my daughter and I set off on an adventure with our homeschool group. We're going camping in Mount Tamalpais State Park near San Francisco. Although it is a state park, being near the city, it has been visited and traversed by city folk. I read somewhere that Jack Kerouac and Gary Snyder spilled some wine together in a little shack there (which partially inspired The Dharma Bums). After the 1967 Human Be-In in San Francisco, poets Allen Ginsberg and Gary Snyder got together at Mount Tam to do a sort of walkabout or walking meditation. They called it "circumambulating." Here is a poem by Snyder:

The Circumambulation of Mount Tamalpais

Walking up and around the long ridge of Tamalpais, “Bay Mountain,” circling and climbing – chanting – to show respect and to clarify the mind. Philip Whalen, Allen Ginsburg, and I learned this practice in Asia. So we opened a route around Tam. It takes a day.

STAGE ONE

Muir Woods: The bed of Redwood Creek just where the Dipsea Trail crosses it. Even in the dryest season of this year some running water. Mountains make springs.

Prajñāparamitā-hridaya-sūtra
Dhāranī for Removing Disasters
Four Vows

Splash across the creek and head up the Dipsea Trail, the steep wooded slope and into four meadows. Gold dry grass. Cows – a huge pissing, her ears out, looking around with large eyes and mottled nose. As we laugh. “-Excuse us for laughing at you.” Hazy day, butterflies tan as grass that sit on silver-weathered fence posts, a gang of crows. “I can smell fried chicken” Allen says – only the simmering California laurel leaves. The trail winds crossed and intertwining with a dirt jeep road.

TWO

A small twisted ancient interior live oak splitting a rock outcrop an hour up the trail.

Dhāranī for Removing Disasters
The Heat Mantra

A tiny chörten before this tree.

Into the woods. Maze fence gate. Young Douglas fir, redwood, a new state of being. Sun on madrone: to the bare meadow knoll. (Last Spring a bed of wild iris about here and this time too, a lazuli bunting.)

THREE

A ring of outcropped rocks. A natural little dolmen-circle right where the Dipsea crests on the ridge. Looking down a canyon to the ocean – not so far.

Dhāranī for Removing Disasters
Hari Om Namo Shiva

And on to Pan Toll, across the road, and up the Old Mine Trail. A doe and fawn, silvery gray. More crows.

FOUR

Rock springs. A new trickle even now-

The Sarasvatī Mantra
Dhāranī for Removing Disasters

-in the shade of a big oak spreading out the map on a picnic table. Then up the Benstein Trail to Rifle Camp, old food-cache boxes hanging from wires. A bit north, in the oak woods and rocks,a neat little saddhu hut built of dry natural bits of wood and parts of old crates; roofed with shakes and black plastic. A book called Harmony left there. Lunch by the stream, too tiny a trickle, we drink water from our bota. The food offerings are swiss cheese sandwiches, swede bread with liverwurst, salami, jack cheese, olives, gomuku-no-moto from a can, grapes, penettone with apple-currant jelly and sweet butter, oranges, and soujouki – greek walnuts in grape-juice paste. All in the shade, at Rifle Camp.

FIVE

A notable serpentine outcropping, not far after Rifle Camp.

Om Shri Maitreya
Dhāranī for Removing Disasters

SIX

Collier Spring – in a redwood grove – water trickling out a pipe.

Dhāranī of the Great Compassionate One

California nutmeg, golden chinquapin the fruit with burrs, the chaparral. Following the North Side Trail.

SEVEN

Inspiration Point.

Dhāranī for Removing Disasters
Mantra for Tārā

Looking down at Lagunitas. The gleam of water storage in the brushy hills. all that smog – and Mt. St. Helena faintly in the north. The houses of San Anselmo and San Rafael, once large estates…”The Peacock Gap Country Club” – Rocky brush climb up the North Ridge Trail.

EIGHT

Summit of Mt. Tamalpais. A ring of rock pinnacles around the lookout

Prajñāparamitā-hridaya-sūtra
Dhāranī for Removing Disasters
Dhāranī of the Great Compassionate One
Hari Krishna Mantra
Om Shri Maitreya
Hari Om Namo Shiva

All about the bay, such smog and sense of heat. May the whole planet not get like this. Start the descent down the Throckmorton Hogback Trail (Fern Canyon an alternative.)

NINE

Parking lot of Mountain Home. Cars whiz by, sun glare from the west.

Dhāranī for Removing Disasters
Gopala Mantra

Then across from the California Alpine Club, the Ocean View Trail goes down. Some yellow broom flowers still out. The long descending trail into shadowy giant redwood trees.

TEN

The bed of Redwood Creek again.

Prajñāparamitā-hridaya-sūtra
Dhāranī for Removing Disasters
Hari Om Namo Shiva
Hari Krishna Mantra
Four Vows

–standing in our little circle, blowing the conch, shaking the staff rings, right in the parking lot.

~ Gary Snyder

I go to Mount Tam, with literature in hand, with this history, this richness in mind. I'm excited about standing in this place where some of my favorite poets have stood. The region was once inhabited by Miwok Indians and is steeped in their history, as well. In fact, the mountain's name was most likely a Spanish reference to the Miwok, who they called "Tamal." The plants and wildlife there have stood witness and have their tale to tell. I look forward to our journey, to standing witness, to being there completely with my daughter and our dear friends. I hope to go with an open heart and to see through my own eyes. See you in a few days!

Kombucha Experiment #2

2009-05-28T14:43:00.000-07:00

Last week I attempted to make kombucha tea without a starter “mushroom.” Instead, I used a jar of kombucha that I’d bought at the grocery store. Kombucha is so incredible at reproducing itself that I wanted to see if the live cultures in it would form a mushroom. Well, after twelve days, here it is.

Normally, a kombucha mushroom will take the shape of the container it’s in. You can see that this one is hardly a shape at all! But there were bubbles; it was fermenting. So, if it looks like kombucha and smells like kombucha, is it kombucha? I tentatively decided to give it a try.

It didn’t taste as potent as kombucha tea normally does and wasn’t quite as carbonated. It was also much sweeter. I guess there weren’t enough cultures to consume the sugar and ferment it. It tasted kind of like sparkling cider! Not bad. I put it in the fridge and think we’ll still drink it. Since I have another bottle of kombucha from the store, I thought I’d try again. This time I halved the recipe and lowered my sugar ratio.

I’ll let you know next week how it turns out! If this doesn’t work, I’m going to find a mushroom for those of you who have never heard of or brewed kombucha. They’re pretty amazing!

Post script: No head wounds were incurred in the making of this batch! *big smile*

In Memorial

2009-05-25T20:57:00.000-07:00

Today is Memorial Day, an American holiday to memorialize the troops who fought and died serving our country, the troops that continue to fight to keep our country free.

But it is not them of whom I think. No. My thoughts arise from a knot in my stomach and an anxious flutter in my heart. Grief for my mom’s passing burns through me like a wildfire. I think it just might consume the me that I used to be. I want to feel this sorrow, but I don’t want it to consume my family. So I’ve been keeping myself busy, perusing blogs, exercising?!, yardwork. Now that’s therapeutic.

On Saturday, I even went up to help my dad pull weeds in my mom’s secret garden.

We left the borage, fennel, mint, mugwort, and thyme, clearing just enough to plant some peppers.

My little sister and daughter lounged on the grass and consulted their pendulums as to whether they should work...

or not.

It was hard work, but the day was beautiful, and the company was good.

Anouk took this picture on our drive home….

Sunday I worked in my own yard, watering, tending and pulling weeds. Today I planted some canna lily rhizomes. In so doing, I discovered my long-neglected, living advent spiral. And woven into it, I uncovered archaeological remnants from four different fairy homes. They’d been destroyed by the elements and buried in leaves.

I believe they were the second to last of such fairy offerings. This, I believe, was the last.

It was built shortly after one beautiful autumn parkday last year, when a younger friend of my daughter’s said, “Anouk, you are a real girl.” At first my heart swelled with sweetness that her friend saw her genuineness. As her friend continued, I realized it was not a compliment. She proceeded to pronounce another friend the best fairy leprechaun girl ever.

Amazingly, there was no charge around this interchange. Anouk didn’t even seem to notice. I wanted to interject, “You don’t know her like I do!” But I didn’t. I realized that this is how it must be. It wasn’t long after that she lost her last baby tooth and started getting excited about independence. She is leaving the kingdom of childhood.

I just hope that it’s not too much of a mad rush. I hope that she finds pause to commune with the nature spirits…to daydream and breathe…to keep the vestiges of innocence kindled in her spirit.

I wish that for us all. Perhaps if we remembered our original natures, we’d forego war and have a garden party instead.

The Palace of Illusions

2009-05-22T03:20:00.001-07:00

The Palace of Illusions: A Novel by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni

My review

rating: 4 of 5 stars
The Palace of Illusions by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni is a re-envisioning of the ancient Indian epic the Mahabharata. It is an historical chronicle full of intrigue and adventure. And like many ancient stories, it is embedded with spiritual wisdom. The spiritual section of the Mahabharata is called the Bhagavad Gita. I read this about fifteen years ago looking for some insight but found myself disillusioned by a very human tale of war.

What makes Divakaruni’s retelling accessible is that it is told through the voice of one of the women in the Mahabharata. It is in keeping with the original and still very much a tale of war. What brought it to life for me, however, was Divakaruni’s characterization. She used the female voice to bring the relationships alive so that we can see the characters’ motivations, their longings, their human frailty—as our own. She masterfully drew the parallel between war among kingdoms and the internal conflicts we experience.

While I may be reading into it, I think Divakaruni used the title, as well as Krishna’s character, to allude to the idea that our human experience is a “palace of illusions”—in which we suffer, forgetting our spiritual origin. However, the allusion, if there at all, is so subtle as to be nearly non-existent. Maybe Divakaruni didn’t want to turn people off with religion? It seems like she could have used Krishna a little more—not to preach or moralize—but to convey that slippery way that we experience the tension between duty and desire and what is true to us.

Divakaruni takes you to ancient India with her rich and sensual writing. And, even though the author did not include much reference to the original spiritual content, I think she might have opened the door for me to revisit the Bhagavad Gita. I wonder if it will have such a strong pulse? Maybe I’ll have to read it and then revisit The Palace of Illusions again!

View all my reviews.

Making kombucha is dangerous!

2009-05-21T16:35:00.000-07:00

A couple years ago a friend of mine gave me a kombucha mushroom. Technically, it’s yeast and bacteria. People just call it a mushroom, because that's what it looks like. It is easy to brew and easy to share, as it self-propagates. Kombucha alchemy! I was excited!

I sent one of my babies to a faraway friend. I had to send it in its juice to keep it alive. Then I had to seal it really well and surround it in bubble wrap and paper, disguising it to bypass postal regulations. It was a little nerve-wracking, because you could feel it sloshing and smell the slight vinegary liquid! I felt subversive but excited to be sharing something that keeps on giving. It's satisfying. If you like kombucha, I recommend brewing it. There are several places to purchase it online. I haven't bought it this way before, tho' and can't really recommend anyone.

I brewed for a long time, but when I went on vacation one year, I came home and found my mushrooms gone! That’s a story I won’t go into here. ANYWAY, I decided to try again, even though I don’t have a mushroom. I decided to try brewing with just the starter drink. We’ll see if it works. I’ll let you know when it’s done.

Kombucha Tea
adapted from experience, the internet and...
Kombucha Miracle Fungus: The Essential Handbook by Harald Tietze

Boil enough water for a teapot. Add 4 bags of organic black tea. At this time you can add fresh herbs (equal parts of yarrow, dandelion, stinging nettle, elder, and raspberry leaves). I haven't braved it yet, because the book I mentioned above indicated that this might create a medium for undesirable mold.

And ¾ - 3 C (1/4-1 C per quart) white, granulated sugar to tea. Through fermentation white sugar gets transformed into lactic acid and alcohol.

Stir until dissolved.

Let steep for 10 minutes. Then remove teabags. Let sit until room temperature.

Pour into a sterilized, widemouth glass container.

Add 1 C kombucha tea (or 2 tablespoons of cider or white wine vinegar).

Add the remainder of filtered water to bring the total amount to 10 cups. Fill to within 1 ½ inches from the top of the container.

Place the fungus in the liquid smooth side up. Cover the container with muslin and anchor with elastic. Stand container in a dark, warm place (70-84 degrees) or use a heated brewing mat. Since it's so warm here already, I didn't use a heating pad. And I just use this craft corner in my bedroom, because it's clean, dark and undisturbed.

Check after 4 or 5 days. Your kombucha tea will be ready in 5-10 days (depending on the temperature). With clean hands, remove fungus onto a plate. Strain ferment into bottles, leaving air space at the top. Keep in refrigerator. Separate the offspring (produced by binary fission) and reuse. Each fungus can be reused 4-5 times. Or place in an airtight container, cover with some brew, leaving room at the top, and store for 3-6 months.

Post script: I knelt on the floor in my bedroom to take the last picture for you all. When I went to get up, my toe caught in my pant leg...and I...went...flying! Because I had my camera in hand, I couldn't break my fall and crashed into my closet door. My glasses smashed into my face and were covered in paint and scratches. And I got a gnarly bump on my forehead. I've had a killer headache since then. Hopefully it's just coffee withdrawals. Making kombucha is dangerous!

Desert Island Reading

2009-05-19T17:32:00.000-07:00

What author do you own the most books by?
Far and away, Rudolf Steiner. He was an amazing man, the father of: biodynamic gardening, Waldorf Education, anthroposophic medicine…. Would I have so many of his books had I not gone to school for Waldorf Education? I don’t know. There’s just so much in them that I haven’t experienced myself. His books give me indigestion. But I love them.

What book do you own the most copies of?
I don’t own multiple copies of any book. Why would I? There are so many calling to me. However, my friend Georgia buys multiple copies of books she loves so that she can give them as gifts. Isn’t that a great idea?!

Did it bother you that those questions ended with prepositions?
Psh, no. It bothers me to write something that way, but if I write it proper, it sounds archaic. So I usually switch back to the improper and conversational. Ah, the (d)evolution of language. Sigh….

Which fictional character are you secretly in love with?
I can honestly say that I’ve never fallen in love with a fictional character. It’s the real people that I get crushes on, people who are articulate, authentic, and passionate—no matter what their appearance, gender, or age. Alexandra David-Neel, Dennis Klocek, Thich Nhat Hanh, Isaan Dorsey, Michael Pollan, Anais Nin.

Which books have you read the most times in your life?
I read the The Lord of the Rings in its entirety seven times. I love rich epics.

What was your favorite book when you were ten years old?
Ten? Why ten?! The boys realized that I was a girl and…eventually I realized that they were boys. Was there anything else? Oh, yeah. I think Mtv came out that year.

What is the worst book you’ve read in the past year?
Hmmm…I’m usually pretty lucky with books. I held my distance from The Shack. But when my mom died, it was given to us as a gift. I almost put it down a few times, but I read it. Yep.

What is the best book you’ve read in the past year?
Probably The Palace of Illusions by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni. Did I mention I like epics? Well, epics re-written from the female point of view are even better. Lavinia by Ursula K. LeGuin and The Red Tent by Anita Diamant are also excellent. I liked The Clan of the Cave Bear series, as well.

What book would you most like to see made into a movie?
I can’t even answer this one! Most books are so much richer than their movies. There is only one book that I can actually say was better on film—Big Fish.

~~Which book would you least like to see made into a movie?~~

What is the most low-brow book you’ve read as an adult?
I like low-brow. It is generally pretty raw and unedited—think Bukowski. How about rephrasing the question: What is the most trashy book you’ve read as an adult? Probably Outlander by Diana Galbaldon. Well-done romance trash.

What is the most difficult book you’ve ever read?
The one I’m reading right now--Saharasia. It is an exhaustive thesis on the correlation between violence and climate change. It’s very academic. And it’s just hard to read account after account of violent practices toward women and children. I don’t know if I’ll ever finish it. I’ve been reading it for a year, now!

Ulysses was hard to get into but worth the perserverence.

What is the most obscure Shakespeare play you’ve seen?
What about that visually stunning movie version of Hamlet?

Do you prefer the French or the Russians?
Crime and Punishment trumps Remembrance of Things Past, but I like Rimbaud and Baudelaire very much.

Shakespeare, Milton or Chaucer?
Shakespeare.

What is the biggest or most embarrassing gap in your reading?
Shrug. I read more biographies than fiction and more children’s fiction than adult.

What is your favorite novel?
That’s a hard question. Even picking my desert island top ten would be next to impossible. I wanna cheat and blurt-write a whole bunch real quick. Pick one? That’s like picking a favorite child! I’ll just say novelist Tom Robbins.

Poet?
Theodore Roethke.

Work of non-fiction?
Old Path White Clouds, Street Zen, and Spell of the Sensuous.

What is the most influential novel you've read?
Another impossible question. The Little Prince, Siddhartha, Jonathan Livingston Seagull.

Who is the most overrated writer alive today?
It’s too easy to be a critic. I will only say that J.K. Rowling’s writing style does not appeal to me.

Which less widely read novel would you recommend?
Foucalt’s Pendulum by Umberto Eco.

What are you reading right now?
Check out Goodreads in my sidebar to see what I’m reading right now.

So many books, so little time…. I would love to get paid to read. But, for now, I have my desert island fantasy.

Thank you Mon, for getting this meme going.

Blood

2009-05-17T12:38:00.001-07:00

Ingredients:

2 pounds apples 1/2 cup (or more) beet 1/4 cup fresh-squeezed lime (or lemon) juice and
2 tablespoons ginger, unpeeled

Directions:

Chop and juice ingredients. There was something different about my beets. I think they turned out to be unidentified turnips from my CSA box. Oops! But the taste was similar... Chill and enjoy. From Raw by Juliano.

Sunday Morning Happiness

2009-05-17T09:35:00.001-07:00

I have been tagged by Mel to share six things that make me happy. There are so many things, things for which I am grateful, moments that bring me peace. But this is what lives in me this morning.

Happiness is…

the written word. I feel it in my mouth and fingertips and finally in my head and heart. I could eat words and be satisfied.

nothing between me and the earth. No gloves, no shoes. Planting, tending, the smell of wet earth, being part of, not separate.

my daughter’s affection and touch.

listening to my husband play piano. He has an awesome band in which he sings and plays guitar and some piano. But to hear him in the middle of the night, composing, makes me melt.

crisp, cold, dry, breathable Montana big skies. I now live in California, in a beautiful junction—between two rivers, between the mountains and ocean, and between country and city. I’m cradled in a plentiful breadbasket. But it doesn’t invigorate me like my birthplace.

blood. Not my own lifeblood, though, of course it makes happiness possible. Not my moontime, though I’m happy to be a woman. But a wonderful juice. It’s not the fountain of youth or vital mountain springwater, but it makes me feel alive.

No Impact Man had an interesting blog about happiness this week. Wanna play tag? What's your bliss?

Three Step Cheesecake

2009-05-16T06:00:00.000-07:00

1. Dunk strawberry in sour cream.

2. Roll in brown sugar.

3. Enjoy! It is surprisingly delicious.

This simple (and unlikely) recipe came from one of my husband's coworkers.
We had it as part of our Mother's Day breakfast last week. Mmmm....

Scared, Too

2009-05-14T20:10:00.000-07:00

This music video is for Sarah at knitting the wind.
Christa Couture is a friend of mine's daughter.
For more on her amazing music and life, check out her website.

The devil made me do it! Cleaning and other hazards.

2009-05-13T06:00:00.000-07:00

I have some friends who are neatniks. They clean up the dishes while they’re cooking and after every meal. Their counters and sink are clear. Everything has its place—there are no unsightly piles to be found, not even in the garage. Their toilets sparkle. There is no dust or cobwebs gracing the nooks and crannies. And, like this guy at Burning Man, their floors are spotless.

I am in awe and a little bit suspicious. How do they do it? I certainly have never been accused of being a neatnik! But I do enjoy periodic cleaning. I like to imagine that I’m releasing elemental spirits trapped in the dust and grime.

“If one has thoughts that relate to the world of elemental beings in a valid way, then they receive something…. They receive nourishment from the centre of their evolutionary situation. It is nourishment for them when human beings think of them and relate to them lovingly. Elemental beings are like children who dance and are happy if their mothers stroke their hair.”
Manfred Schmidt-Brabant, The Spiritual Tasks of the Homemaker

There is a freshness, a lightness of being, that arises from this kind of care. It doesn’t even require antibacterial soap, bleach or harsh chemicals. In fact, the scent of those makes me feel like I shouldn’t even be breathing in! Michael Pollan, in his latest book, In Defense of Food: An Eater’s Manifesto, advises not to eat anything containing more than 5 ingredients. Could we apply this wisdom to the other products we buy? Do we really know what’s in our household and personal cleaning products? In How to Know Higher Worlds: A Modern Path of Initiation, Rudolf Steiner describes various meditations for self-discipline and achieving freedom in thinking. One of them is called the Pin Exercise. He suggests imagining a straight pin in your mind’s eye. Think on its form and function. Then, working backwards, visualize in detail how it came into your hands: retail store, distributor, factory, and the process of gathering various raw materials. A straight pin probably is comprised of less than 5 raw materials, but I wouldn’t even know where to start. Who would in this day and age? And to think of the multitude of ingredients in our dish and hand soaps, hair and beauty products, and floor cleaners. I can’t even pronounce most of them!

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if there was a company that explains where the raw materials come from, how they are extracted and processed to become the product for sale? They could provide research on the negative effects on people and the environment. And they could rate companies for best practices. But knowing, we probably wouldn’t buy anything. Would we?

But if the devil makes you do it, clean! David Suzuki has some recipes for making your own 5 ingredient or less supplies.

Scouring Powder

Laundry Soap

Shampoo

Hair Mask

Check out Suzuki's website for recipe cards for just about any household cleaning product you might want, as well as a wide variety of cosmetics. Clean safe and have fun!

Health Binder

2009-05-12T11:09:00.000-07:00

I started homeschooling my daughter in third grade. One of the appealing aspects of this lifestyle change was the time and intimacy it afforded. I looked forward to finding what health meant to me and my family. I would have more energy to create a nourishing rhythm. We would learn how to cook together and make things like yogurt and vinegar and kombucha—self-sufficient science! And I especially looked forward to having the time to daydream and explore what we love: nature, gardening, reading, animals, art.

But I have to admit—I’m not very disciplined and am sporadically organized. Even though I was no longer working 9-5, I found myself short on time! Those things that appealed to me got lost under piles of to-do lists, dirty dishes, laundry, and school books.

When my mom first told me she had breast cancer, everything else seemed trivial. I found myself wanting to be actively involved in her treatment—however she envisioned it—but she didn’t want anyone’s help. I felt crushed and helpless. I realized that what my mom would accept was my love and presence. This was a positive shift, but I still felt out of control. I decided to turn this energy towards my own health.

In order to organize and make it a priority, I created a health binder. In the past I would read health books passively. I’d tune out the irrelevant stuff and get excited about certain things that related to me. But that’d be it. The book would go back on the shelf, and it would be just me and my to-do lists again.

I journaled and began taking notes when I got excited about something I’d read. Then I’d set goals for myself and work toward them. I filled out a personal health assessment that I got from Staying Healthy with the Seasons. I photocopied anatomy pictures, health remedies and meditation exercises. I laminated a chore chart for my daughter and I. There’s also a monthly calendar in there for lesson planning and life. I made up a weekly shopping list and meal planner. I also had a list of things I wanted to do. It was such a positive feeling to be taking responsibility for myself. Because I was nourished, I felt I could better nourish my family, my mom.

Then life swept me away from my health binder again as I finished my practicum and graduated from college. And this last year…. It’s very raw for me. I didn’t work on my health binder. I couldn’t. I did try the FlyLady, but quickly became a dropout. I read Confessions of an Organized Homemaker. It was good, but not me. I’ve got to find my own way—a system that breathes.

So, I’m back to my health binder. Each time I come back to it, I refine it to work for me better. And each time I come back to it, I feel a little closer to me, to my wholeness.

Service and Servility

2009-05-11T14:07:00.000-07:00

I don’t want to rain on anyone’s parade, but…I’m not a big fan of holidays. They can seem like such a capitalistic contrivance. I don’t need flowers or cards or jewelry on a certain day. I guess I don’t need them at all. Tho' gifts are sweet sometimes. They remind you that someone was thinking of you. And it’s not that I don’t like to revere or celebrate—I do! I just hope I breathe this spirit into each day.

For some, religion and holidays provide a framework for ritual. They are a time of worship or service. While my family and I enjoy learning about other religions, we do not adhere to one. However, yesterday I woke up thinking about service. As parents, we want to nurture our children and give them the cream of the crop. But if you serve your children all their lives, how do you prevent them from becoming spoiled tyrants? How do you instill a reciprocity in your children (especially only children)? How do you give them opportunities to serve? And how do you do this without being authoritarian and expecting servility?

These are not rhetorical questions.

Being a Woman

2009-05-09T00:00:00.001-07:00

As a young adult, my (boy)friends used to call me a feminazi. There are probably definitions on the internet, but what it meant in my circle was a rigid (if not aggressive) feminist. I was on a quest—no, a mission—to have equal rights and experiences as men. Equality means the same, right? Woman=Man? I wanted to be taken seriously but felt like all guys could see was my anatomy. So, I downplayed my feminine characteristics (note the large plaid flannel). In fact, I went so far as wanting to be treated as one of the boys. I wanted to hang out with them in the kitchen or around the truck—those exclusive meeting places of the fraternity of boys. What did they do there? They rolled their own cigarettes and drank. They talked shit and challenged each other. Equal? Heck, I can drink this whole bottle of tequila! They spit and worked things out by wrestling or with their fists. Hey, I could do that, too. Walk alone at night? Sure. Adventure! It wasn’t until I decided to have a baby that I realized something: I’m a girl. Boys and girls are not the same, but that doesn’t mean girls are the weaker sex. We can still work together for equal rights. For this, I am grateful to the feminist movement. Because I’m a woman, I will always advocate for women—just not to the detriment of men.

In The Spirit of Intimacy, Sobonfu Some says, “Being a woman does not mean you have nothing to do with masculine energy. Similarly, being a man does not mean you have nothing to do with the feminine. Vaginas and penises are not the only things that define our sexual nature. Our lives are influenced by the presence within us of both feminine and masculine energies. It is important that these energies maintain harmony within us.” She goes on to describe annual rituals in which the women go off together to dance their projective manliness and the men go off to dance their feminine receptiveness. Sobonfu says, “You will notice in many villages in Africa, during the days women are all together, men are all together also. This is not a sexist practice. It’s just that for some reason there’s a feeling that a clear sense of otherness is essential to a harmonious coming together with your mate.”

I am a woman. It’s taking me awhile to figure out what this means to me. To value and refine my intuition. To learn to be assertive without being (or feeling like) a bitch. To love my womanly body. To recognize the importance of being the matron, the priestess of the home. To envision the healthy heritage I want to pass on to my family and my extended family. To find support and camaraderie in my girlfriends.

So sisters, what does being a woman mean to you?

Is health care a right?

2009-05-07T10:10:00.000-07:00

In the 21st century, Charles Darwin’s survival of the fittest theory is king.

“[Darwin] concluded 150 years ago that living organisms are perpetually embroiled in a “struggle for existence.” For Darwin, struggle and violence are not only a part of animal (human) nature, but the principal “forces” behind evolutionary advancement. In the final chapter of The Origin of Species: By Means of Natural Selection, Or, The Preservation of Favoured Races in the Struggle for Life, Darwin wrote of an inevitable “struggle for life” and that evolution was driven by “the war of nature, from famine and death.” Couple that with Darwin’s notion that evolution is random and you have a world, as poetically described by Tennyson that can be characterized as “red in tooth and claw,” a series of meaningless, bloody battles for survival.” Bruce Lipton, The Biology of Belief

Darwin characterizes survival as a struggle, a competition. What if Darwin’s theory was wrong (or incomplete)? The first time I encountered this point of view was when I first discovered Waldorf education. I had been so indoctrinated in Darwin’s theory that I literally felt struck that Waldorf does not teach it in the elementary grades. It almost seemed heretical! But as I learned more about it, I found that Waldorf had a completely different approach to science—a phenomenological approach. The child becomes the scientist and observes phenomena with his or her own senses. Waldorf education opened the door to how I think about things and made me realize how I accept things that I have not truly thought about.

In the past few years, I’ve also encountered a few great scientists who point out how species work in cooperation—one scratching the back of the other, so to speak. It began with Darwin’s predecessor, Jean-Babtiste Lamarck. He developed the first cohesive theory of evolution in 1800. Unlike Darwin, Lamarck’s theory included the idea that organisms survive through cooperation with their environment and other organisms therein.

“But today’s understanding of cooperation in nature goes much deeper than the easily observable ones. “Biologists are becoming increasingly aware that animals have coevolved, and continue to coexist, with diverse assemblages of microorganisms that are required for normal health and development,” according to a recent article in Science called “We Get By With A Little Help From Our (Little) Friends.” [Ruby, et al, 2004] The study of these relationships is now a rapidly growing field called “Systems Biology.”” Bruce Lipton, The Biology of Belief

“These brief descriptions can lead us from a traditional notion of separate biological organisms to the conception of an ecological organism, of which the biological organisms are a part. Each species -- bloodroot, giraffe or bison -- appears as a unique member of a habitat or landscape, like tissues or organs within an organism. In turn, we can study habitats and landscapes as dynamic members of larger ecosystems and bioregions. Finally, we are led to the concept of the whole earth as an organism.” Craig Holdrege, Where do organisms end?

This may seem like a tangent, but bear with my wild mind.

A couple months ago, my sister and I got into a heated debate about whether or not universal health care is a good idea. My sister thinks it is wrong that some people cannot afford health insurance and may even die for lack of care. I, true to my nature, was being provocative and playing the devil’s advocate. Wu-ah-ah-ah-aah!!! It helps me think through both sides of an issue. Considering my new relationship with theories (as such), you might think it funny that I started thinking about Darwin’s survival of the fittest again. It got all entwined with destiny and whether or not we are all meant to live. It was all tangled and messy and came out sounding callous.

Industrialized nations oppose the survival of the fittest theory with health care systems that take care of the masses, not just the strongest. We take the doctors’ prescriptions while continuing with our unhealthy behaviors. People have to want to live and heal and be healthy. It’s not something a doctor can prescribe. So, the masses survive, but not necessarily well. Does entitlement to health care breed apathy? Do we abnegate responsibility, giving it away to “the specialists”? Should we be working towards universal health care? Does this form of health care truly help people to survive—and well?

The words "health care" started tap dancing in my head. Health. Care. Indigenous people had a medicine man or woman who cared for and tended their people, because it was best for the survival of the species. When we are born, life is our birthright. Everything wants to live and be well, and we need the loving care of our families and medicine men and women to do that. We work in cooperation. As we grow, however, the fruit of our birthright is responsibility. Each person must refine their intuition, listen to their body and connect with their vitality. By all means, go to the health specialist when necessary. Learn to communicate with your doctor. Know your rights. Take the steps to prevent illness. But, most importantly find out what it means to you to live well. Become a specialist of you.

Head in the Clouds

2009-05-06T16:36:00.000-07:00

What is health?

2009-05-05T10:48:00.000-07:00

Even though science has not yet given us definitive proof on whether or not viruses are the cause or by-product of disease, I think we can all agree that disease exists. But if we want to know what health is, we need to know what disease is. If disease is the toxic terrain off of which microorganisms (bacteria, viruses, and parasites) feed, then health would be the detoxification of the terrain and support of beneficial organisms. However, if microorganisms are the cause of disease, health would seem to be the absence of those microorganisms.

We have the Romans to thank for improving sanitation practices and making our cities more habitable. We have toilets, toilet paper and running water. And, as Grandma Barbara says, “If you can’t be good, at least be sanitary.” We’re clean. So why are we still getting sick?

Incidences of allergies and autoimmune disorders are on the rise. Ironically, by declaring a war on germs, we may just be declaring a war on ourselves. When we go so far as to use antibacterial soap, immunizations and antibiotics, we are killing communities of beneficial microbes, as well as unwanted germs. In 1989 David P. Strachan published an article in the British Medical Journal entitled “Hay fever, hygiene and household size.” In the long-term study, Strachan studied nearly 20,000 children. He observed them from birth until they were 23 and found a striking correlation between larger families and the absence of allergic hypersensitivity (atopic disease).

“Over the past century declining family size, improvements in household amenities, and higher standards of personal cleanliness have reduced the opportunities for cross infection in young families. This may have resulted in more widespread clinical expression of atopic disease, emerging earlier in wealthier people, as seems to have occurred in hay fever.” Strachan D P (1989) Hay fever, hygiene and household size. BMJ 299: 1259-1260 [PubMed]

Strachan’s research has been widely studied and has become known as the hygiene hypothesis. Studies have been done in Europe on the absence of allergies in rural farming communities. Like Bechamp’s cellular theory, the hygiene hypothesis also looks to the physiological terrain. When our body ecology has not been exposed to various microorganisms in the environment, it isn’t being exposed to the world. It isn’t being educated about what works with it and what works against it. When the boundary between self and environment is lacking, allergic hypersensitivity or autoimmune diseases occur. The body senses that it is under attack. Conversely, when the body has been discriminately exposed to microorganisms in its natural environment, it knows better how to deal with them.

While we should not abandon basic hygiene practices and awareness of illness around us, perhaps it is not the absence of microorganisms that constitutes health. Perhaps health is a strong and educated terrain in which microorganisms and our organism are in balance. We only become aware of our bodily processes when something is out of balance, uneasy, or dis-eased. But our body primarily acquires this education without our awareness. This requires a degree of trust—trust in our vitality and our interconnectedness with the world. It also requires that we listen to our bodies so that we are aware when we are becoming imbalanced and can take action.

Eye of the Needle Art

2009-05-03T07:42:00.000-07:00

Have you ever heard of sculptor Willard Wigan? His medium: sand and dust. You've got to check out this YouTube video. Poor Alice!

Willard also has an interesting biography. Check out his website, for more information.

What's your favorite piece? Mine's the owl.

For some reason, the comments are not being displayed below. But if you click on the title, Eye of the Needle Art, it'll take you to this post. You can comment there. I'd love to hear what you think....

The Biology of Belief

2009-05-02T09:44:00.000-07:00

The Biology Of Belief: Unleashing The Power Of Consciousness, Matter And Miracles by Bruce H. Lipton

My review

rating: 4 of 5 stars
Some teachers can just kill your interest in science. They can make it so impossibly abstract that you can’t find any relation to it. Perhaps that is what put me off as I began to read Bruce Lipton’s The Biology of Belief—not that he wasn’t giving a context and showing a relationship to science—quite the opposite. He reminded me of someone receiving an award for the first time and thanking everyone! He was unbridled, unguarded—unintelligent? No! That I was offput by his enthusiasm, is really a reflection on me, not him. We are subtly taught to look cool, to appear unaffected, because if we are moved by something, we might be moved into the unknown. This illusion of control seems solid, but it is death for an organism. It is static, whereas life is responsive, adaptive—dynamic. And so is Bruce Lipton. I appreciate that he loves science and is so enthusiastic about it, while acknowledging that science is the continuing exploration of theories. He adheres to objectivity, one of the main tenets of scientific research, but you can definitely see the twinkle in the eye behind the lens!

After Lipton has given us a picture of his academic journey and his unfolding interests, questions and discoveries, he gives a very thorough explanation of the workings of the cell. His writing is well thought-out and organized. He provides extensive end notes as well as referencing other chapters in the book. He really ties everything together and gives great metaphorical examples for laypeople like me so that we can begin to understand the complex machinations, not only of the cell, but of how it is related to quantum physics and what he calls Systems Biology. Lipton believes that the Neo-Darwinian adherence to the theory of survival of the fittest characterizes life in competition, whereas at the cellular level, there is complex communication and collaboration—strength in numbers. The world is not our enemy; it is our belief that it is that causes disease. Beliefs are our subconscious programming. Conversely, if we believe in our vitality, it will flourish.

While we are in the midst of the sixth mass extinction in our planet’s history, our fate is not sealed. While the segue was a little abrupt, I believe that the implication is that our consciousness can change the future and that we must start with ourselves and our children. I thought, “This is great! I can’t wait to hear his ideas on how to do this!” Lipton explains how we have two minds: the subconscious mind for processing vast amounts of information in the present moment (including habits and beliefs) and the conscious mind that has the ability to learn from the past and plan the future. He states how difficult it is to change subconsciously acquired habits and beliefs. Don’t we all know that! So, how do we do it? How do we change our subconscious programming? Unfortunately, Bruce Lipton is not a psychologist. It is not in the last chapter or the Epilogue—but after that—in the Addendum, that the reader is merely referred to someone who is a psychologist and practices something called PSYCH-K. The “K” stands for kinesiology, the science of human movement. The website referred to was not very revealing, and the one book on it was not well-reviewed, saying it had little substance and appeared to be a promotional ploy to get people to go to the author’s expensive workshops. Though The Biology of Belief was a very good book (so deliciously over my head that it deserves a second read) and so well-referenced throughout—it leaves me shocked that it led to this singular reference on the application of his ideas. But I sense that Bruce Lipton is a seeker, and perhaps his continuing research and collaboration will prove ever more fruitful. He does have an audio cd coming out in October 2008 entitled, Spontaneous Evolution. I’ll have to check that out.

View all my reviews.

What is disease?

2009-05-01T16:13:00.000-07:00

So far we know that viruses are bundles of genome encased in a protein sheath. Although they do not appear to be alive or self-directed, scientists don’t have a conclusive answer. However, almost any scientist or doctor you talk with will tell you that they’re not alive. They will also tell you that they are infectious agents that attack living organisms. This is the pathogenic model for medicine that has gone largely unquestioned since its inception in the late 1800s.

Like many endeavors, from discoveries to inventions to works of art, much depends on what came before. The idea of microorganisms dates as far back as written history goes, but it was all wrapped up in God’s will, evil spirits, and curses. After the Middle Ages, humankind started focusing on intellectual pursuits.

"When Sir Isaac Newton (1642-1727) revolutionized physics with his studies of optics and gravity, he perceived the universe as an immense mechanical construct, a giant clockwork that scientists could probe by analyzing various parts. He inaugurated a new scientific methodology, known as reductionism. According to the assumptions underlying this approach, insights gained by studying bits and pieces of nature could be fitted together like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle to eventually explain the workings of the cosmos." David Suzuki, Tree: A Life Story

As scientific methods and instruments became more and more precise, scientists were able to isolate smaller and smaller particles in controlled environments.

In 1898 the first virus was discovered by Martinus Beijerinck. While Beijerinck studied botanical microbiology in the Netherlands, two scientists in France were studying microbiology in relation to animals. They were Louis Pasteur and Antoine Bechamp. They were working to discover the cause of disease occurring in silkworms in France. And, although they were contemporaries, the fire of belief and the politics of discovery between these two was palpable. The way in which they experimented, interpreted, and assembled their data was vastly different.

Through Antoine Bechamp’s silkworm experiments, he found that animals carry microorganisms in them all the time, microorganisms that symbiotically assist in the metabolism of their host. He noticed that in systems that changed from healthy to diseased, those microorganisms become pleomorphic, or mutate. He called his theory the cellular disease theory, or pleomorphism. Bechamp ascertained that, only when a biological system becomes imbalanced does disease occur. Viruses, which work to catabolically break down or scavenge toxic waste, have a medium in which to do their work. They de-toxify the dead cellular matter. It is only when disease is widespread that viruses become widespread. Thus, he contended, disease comes first.

Louis Pasteur, on the other hand, saw microorganisms as the cause of the silkworm disease. Not only that, but he asserted that each microorganism was a specific disease, arising from the external environment. He believed that these specific diseases, like the one affecting the silkworms, as well as diseases like rabies or influenza, attack healthy cells and weaken or destroy them. Pasteur called his idea the the germ theory of disease.

Pasteur’s ideas were not all well-received, and his success was controversial. Even the famous nurse, Florence Nightingale, published a critique of the theory.

“The specific disease doctrine is the grand refuge of weak, uncultured, unstable minds, such as now rule the medical profession. There are no specific diseases; there are specific disease conditions.” Florence Nightingale, 1860 (Excerpted from The Dream and Lie of Louis Pasteur by R.B. Pearson)

There are numerous books written both in favor of and oppostition to the germ theory. Perhaps it was because his father was a veteran of the Napoleonic Wars that he found favor and support.

“In 1863, Emperor Napoleon III asked Pasteur to assist France in combating various “diseases” of wine that often caused exported French wine to go bad before it reached its destination.” (Excerpted from http://www.answers.com/topic/louis-pasteur)

Perhaps that is why, with his alliance, Pasteur’s germ theory prevailed over Bechamp’s cellular disease theory. Whatever the case may be, his theory became the basis for modern medicine, along with the advent of immunizations and hygienic practices.

The fallout from the germ and subsequent immunization theories is that modern medicine is pathological and curative-based. It looks toward disease and not toward health. You might argue that immunizations are preventative, but their efficacy is also yet to be proven. When my daughter was six, she was out of school for a good portion of the year. She had an incessant, hacking cough that made her stomach spasm and dry heave. It was loud and painful. My husband and I felt powerless to help our little girl. We decided to take her to the emergency room. The doctor diagnosed her with whooping cough. My daughter had one more series of shots left in her childhood immunizations, but my husband and I had made the choice to discontinue them. We didn’t have internet at the time (weird, huh?), and even though we have a great library system, there wasn’t much literature on immunizations. I remember reading What Every Parent Should Know About Childhood Immunization by Jamie Murphy. I told the doctor that she didn’t have the last of the series, and she said that she should be covered. However, she said that she, herself, had acquired whooping cough as an adult, even though she was fully immunized against it. She said the vaccine didn’t have a high success rate. To add insult to injury, there was nothing they could do for my daughter. I think I might have made her up an herbal preparation from the immunization book that I read.

I didn’t make a big deal about the fact that our family had chosen not to finish immunizing our daughter. But when her doctor realized she hadn’t completed her series, he wanted to schedule an appointment. He was livid at me when I told him our decision. He angrily pressed me with questions. Although I didn’t feel very self-confident, I told him that I wasn’t convinced of their effectiveness. I told him I believed I could support our immune system through diet and herbs. I told him that I didn’t like the side effects of the vaccines or the ingredients in them (such as MSG, animal material, aluminum salts, formaldehyde, and mercury). He told me that they don’t have thimerosol (a mercury-based preservative) in vaccines anymore. I later found out that this wasn’t entirely true. They phased it out in 2001. This means that the pharmaceutical industry doesn’t make most childhood vaccinations with mercury anymore. The ones that do contain it, have “acceptable” amounts. And there were still some mercury containing vaccines in doctor’s offices and warehouses across the country.

Needless to say, we don’t go to the doctor very often anymore. I came to realize what a big industry it was, embroiled in bureaucracy and dogmatism. The whole system is not bad. Sometimes surgery is necessary. And there are wonderful individual doctors, who truly believe in what they do and genuinely want to help people. Unfortunately, they are kept too inhumanely busy to do much research. Research is what’s needed. Doctors are scientists, too. And scientific theory must be continually reexamined, renewed. Life is constantly changing. Maybe there are new ways of seeing. New questions arise. Previously discredited theories or indigenous wisdom can be looked at anew. Perhaps Antoine Bechamp’s theory that cells change, that a bacteria could mutate to become a virus, as a response to a diseased, biological ecology, should be revisited. Some scientists are reexamining old paradigms.

Here is a video of an amazing microscope called the Ergonom. You can see living tissue through high resolution lenses without dye or altering the medium. You can see mutating microorganisms just as Bechamp proposed.

“…as scientists investigated the parts of living organisms, they found the parts themselves were made up of parts—molecules—which were in turn assemblages of atoms, which were ultimately made up of quarks, the (so far) irreducible structures of all matter. At the quark level, there was nothing to distinguish life from nonlife.” David Suzuki, Tree: A Life Story

“Recent advances in genome science have revealed an additional mechanism of cooperation among species. Living organisms, it turns out, actually integrate their cellular communities by sharing their genes. It had been thought that genes are passed on only to the progeny of an individual organism through reproduction. Now scientists realize that genes are shared not only among individual members of a species, but also among members of different species. The sharing of genetic information via gene transfer speeds up evolution since organisms can acquire “learned” experiences from other organisms. [Nitz, et al, 2003] Given this sharing of genes, organisms can no longer be seen as disconnected entities; there is no wall between species. Daniel Drell, manager of the Department of Energy’s microbial genome program told Science in (2001 294:1634): “…we can no longer comfortably say what is a species anymore.” [Pennisi 2001] Bruce Lipton, The Biology of Belief

Isn’t that incredible?! New models of our world are constantly being born. New inspiration is realized.

“All theory, dear friend, is gray, but the golden tree of life springs ever green.” Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The public is increasingly embracing naturopathic medicine. But we must be ever vigilant. We must always reexamine theories and not take them as ultimate truth. That reminds me of one of my favorite quotes.

“Do not be idolatrous about or bound to any doctrine, theory, or ideology, even Buddhist ones. All systems of thought are guiding means; they are not absolute truth.” Thich Nhat Hanh (excerpted from Dharma Gaia ed. Allan Hunt Badiner)

Cultivate critical thinking, but do not abandon your heart.

What does my heart say? I am alive!

What is a virus?

2009-04-29T09:57:00.000-07:00

The first question the swine flu epidemic brings to mind is, “What is a virus?” I know that there is a difference between getting a bacteriological infection and getting a virus. I know that one can be treated with antibiotics and the latter cannot. It wasn’t until a couple weeks ago that my sister told me that viruses are not alive. My doctor and biologist friends ardently confirm this. So that’s why they can’t be treated with antibiotics; the word “antibiotic” means “against life,” and viruses are not alive! Well, um, shrug, that’s where my knowledge stops and the questions begin. They sure seem to be a life force (a sort of consciousness). So if they are not life, what is life? And if they’re not alive, what are they?

Wikipedia has a long article detailing viruses. The article refers to them as “infectious agents”. They’re like little seed packets: RNA or DNA strands packed inside a protein case. In the influenza virus, the protein cases are covered in little spiky projections. These are protein, which help the virus attach to a cell and enzymes, which help the virus enter the host cell. Viruses can’t reproduce on their own. So, once they inject their RNA or DNA into the host cell, they co-opt the cell’s ability to reproduce. And then they reproduce so much that they weaken the cell and cause it to burst. This is like the seed pod opening and spreading its seeds. Thus the infection spreads. This activity requires no food, but it does require the host cell’s energy. And, although not self-mobile, they do adapt to the environment by shifting their protein casing, or mutating.

There are several classes of viruses, the one currently in the news being Type A Influenza. This type of influenza mutates more frequently than others. Saturday’s SFGate article stated, “Hospitals and public health departments throughout California, where six of the American cases have been found, were told Friday to increase surveillance of the rare strain of flu that combines genetic material from humans, pigs and birds.” Because this is a new virus that has evolved from animals to humans and has continued to spread from human to human, the World Health Organization’s pandemic alert is now at phase 4. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention , people are potentially contagious for seven days after onset of the illness or while symptomatic. The virus is transmitted through coughing or sneezing but, according to the CDC, can be acquired by touching something that a sick person has touched. “We know that some viruses and bacteria can live 2 hours or longer on surfaces like cafeteria tables, doorknobs, and desks. Frequent handwashing will help you reduce the chance of getting contamination from these common surfaces.” Wait a minute. Back up. “Viruses…can live”?!

It appears that the verdict is not out on whether or not viruses are alive. While they don’t meet the requirements for life in the way that we normally think, they are so close as to be arguable. Scientific American has an excellent article that takes that to task. Perhaps we need to further define what life is?

Swine Flu Pandemic Panic

2009-04-27T10:58:00.000-07:00

Reports started percolating Saturday about an influenza epidemic in Mexico. It has been dubbed “the swine flu,” because it is a sickness that originated in pigs. So far it is believed that approximately eighty people have died from it. Thousands are sick. Schools are closed. Public events have been shut down. People who must go out wear masks. But the media doesn’t give me too much time to be sad for the people of Mexico. The virus is spreading to my country—and possibly yours. The news is inciting panic about the swine flu becoming a global pandemic. A part of me wants to turn away. I’ve heard this story before. Mad cow disease. Bird flu. West Nile. Death. Fear, fear, fear. Enter the pharmaceutical (or pesticide) industries, who don their flowing capes and “save the day.” Then the media, like hungry leeches, latch onto another victim. This is what I want to turn away from.

Don’t get me wrong. I feel for the people of Mexico. There is a reality here. People are dying from this virus. People are afraid. I am afraid. However, I do believe that the more you think things through yourself, the less helpless you are. You may still be afraid. You may not have all the answers. But you’ll be empowered. I’d like to take some time in the next few days to think about this out-loud. I have questions….

The Spirit of Intimacy Book Review

2009-04-23T19:14:00.000-07:00

The Spirit of Intimacy: Ancient African Teachings in the Ways of Relationships by Sobonfu Some

My review

rating: 4 of 5 stars
This is a deceptively simple book about living in relationship--with one's self, community, world, and the spirit realm. Sobonfu Some portrays the indigenous rituals of the West African culture that she comes from. Her writing is beautiful and characterizes a people with little armor and masks.

This book was a quick read--simple, straight-forward and heartfelt. I experienced an opening--that there is a precious jewel embedded in that simplicity. But it is difficult to translate indigenous wholeness in today's differentiated world. This is the same feeling I got from reading Jean Liedloff's The Continuum Concept. There is something so primal in our makeup that is not being met today.

I will read her other two books. Maybe she gives more possibilities of tranlating the indigenous connectedness into the western culture. And, if not--I have a task ahead of me!

View all my reviews.

A Poem for Earth Day

2009-04-22T02:00:00.000-07:00

Hopi Prophecy

“You have been telling people that this is the Eleventh Hour, now you must go back and tell the people that this is the Hour. And there are things to be considered…

Where are you living?
What are you doing?
What are your relationships?
Are you in right relation?
Where is your water?

Know your garden.
It is time to speak your truth.
Create your community.
Be good to each other.
And do not look outside yourself for the leader.

Then he clasped his hands together, smiled, and said, “This could be a good time! There is a river flowing now very fast. It is so great and swift that there are those who will be afraid. They will try to hold on to the shore. They will feel they are being torn apart and will suffer greatly. Know the river has its destination. The elders say we must let go of the shore, push off into the middle of the river, keep our eyes open, and our heads above the water.

And I say, see who is there with you and celebrate. At this time in history, we are to take nothing personally, least of all, ourselves. For the moment that we do, our spiritual growth and journey comes to a halt.

The time of the lone wolf is over. Gather yourselves!

Banish the word ‘struggle’ from your attitude and your vocabulary. All that we do now must be done in a sacred manner and in celebration.

We are the ones we’ve been waiting for.”

Oraibi, Arizona
Hopi Nation
June 8, 2000

Can you hear them?

2009-04-21T09:30:00.000-07:00

My family and I went on a mini road trip. The day was warm and breezy—just perfect. The hills were exquisitely dusted with little yellow, purple and white wildflowers. My mom would have loved them. I almost felt like the earth was singing for her. As we entered a little river canyon, one hill was on fire—not literally—but it had a vibrant orange cast to it. California poppies!

There was no place to pull over, so we decided to stop on our journey back. We had a nice outing together. We ate lunch and went to this great rock shop that we love. Then we made our way back to the poppies.

We got some good shots, but my family wanted to climb the hill to get pictures without power lines. I was done taking pictures and content to admire them from where I was at—to be alone with my thoughts. A woman pulled up behind us to take some pictures. Wanting to share in the wonder of it, I said, “Aren’t they gorgeous?!” She eyed me up and replied, “They’re the same every year.”

After she drove away, I stood there, alone in my thoughts, and considered what she said. I got really sad, because they’re not the same this year—the world is not the same. My mom is not here. Nothing will ever be the same again. I became deeply, overwhelmingly sad and started to cry. We think that people and situations—that life—is fixed. We glance at something—or someone—and end our exploration or togetherness there and put it in the “I’ve already seen that before; been there, done that” category. We create the illusion of permanence. We categorize and order our experience to feel stable—and immortal. But what we lose is the freshness and opportunity in each new moment. This is not a new thought. Around 500 B.C., Heraclitus said, “You could not step twice into the same river; for other waters are ever flowing on to you.” I’m sure many native cultures had similar thoughts. It often takes loss to realize that we took life for granted. But I had never felt it in such a raw way. It made me angry. At what? Myself? My mom? Humanity? I wanted to scream, right there on the roadside. I wanted to throw myself to the gravel in the agony of it all. Instead, I crawled into the car and curled up and cried. My family returned from their hike, and we all drove home in silence.

But the poppies, oh, those poppies! In his poem "Hamatreya," Emerson says, “Earth laughs in flowers.” I could almost hear them….

Shining Through

2009-04-20T16:35:00.000-07:00

A few years ago my mom realized that she had breast cancer. She chose not to have a mastectomy or do chemo. This was not a decision made lightly. My mom loved life.
My mom was an artist who captured the natural world. She eventually became interested in healing plants and became an herbalist. From there she combined her interest in herbs and health with her writing skills and wrote for a holistic health newsletter. Then my mom got into environmentalism. Last year she created an environmental website. She wanted to expose and hold accountable the industries that so heavily contribute to the disease of our planet.

She felt that the human body is a microcosm of our planet and that, just like planetary ecosystems, our body is comprised of holistic systems. So, when disease occurred in her system, she didn’t want to clear-cut and poison it in the name of modern medicine. She set to researching breast health and alternative cancer treatments. Here’s a peak at her book collection. My mom wanted us to know that she wanted to work with her body and not against it. She treated herself by eating good, organic foods. She juiced and fasted periodically. She supported her immune system with herbs. She continued to meditate daily and began to cultivate peace in her heart. This journey she took privately. And, tho' it is confusing for the rest of us, who knows the depths of the heart?

My mom was a complex woman. What she wholeheartedly chose to devote herself to was her family. She loved us deeply, fiercely, and defended us to the teeth. She loved her husband and welcomed him home every day with a warm smile. She had the most beautiful smile. My mom chose to homeschool my little sister. She really appreciated how close they were and the depth of conversations that they could have. My mom said that she was not sentimental; she was pretty feisty and had strong convictions. But looking back, I see how very important her relationships were to her. She had pictures of people tucked here and there around the house. My mom enjoyed the time she was able to spend with her family, those near and far. She liked to shop, but not just for herself. She often thought about the people she loved and enjoyed getting them something special. She didn’t do things out of obligation. My mom wasn’t sappy. But maybe, just maybe, she was sentimental.

Last year my mom’s health started to decline. But her spirit did not. In November we went to Disneyland for her birthday.

In December she cooked us a delicious Christmas feast. Then in January she was hospitalized for a series of strokes. The medical establishment couldn’t pinpoint what was wrong or what to do with her. My family and I went on a rollercoaster of hope and despair. After numerous inconclusive tests, the doctors saw her cancer and gave her a brief time to live. We brought her home for hospice care. I’m so glad I didn’t have to go it alone. My family and I knitted together around my mom and enjoyed her life with her. Though her body was giving way, she defied the doctors’ expectations and shone through her disease. This was, at once, the greatest heartbreak and the greatest gift I’ve ever faced. I appreciate the time we had to spend with her.
My mom died last month, followed by her little brother. I miss them. It feels so utterly unreal. The law of conservation of energy states that energy is neither created nor destroyed; it merely changes form. I hold onto this thought. I look for my mom in the night sky. I listen for her on the breeze. I call to her in my dreams. I remember. Why do I feel such loss? I know that my family is grieving. Friends are grieving. Thich Nhat Hanh says, "Everyone's tears are salty." Why do I feel so alone?

Dear Readers and Friends

2009-01-08T11:22:00.000-08:00

My apologies for the delay in posts. I am spending some time with family right now. I appreciate those of you that read my posts and the friendships that are evolving. I am grateful. Check back in with me; I will be writing again when the time presents itself.
Sweetness to all,
Jenell

New Year's Revolution

2009-01-01T20:47:00.000-08:00

For Christmas this year my daughter got me David Suzuki’s Green Guide. Although it details the catastrophic impact we have on our planet, it wasn’t at all paralyzing. In fact, David Suzuki outlines meaningful actions that we can take to change our relationship to agriculture, transportation, energy use, and politics. I am definitely going to be referring back to various sections to slowly change my awareness and habits. There are so many possibilities, from simple to more challenging. It is empowering. Suzuki also includes references for further research (books, documentaries and websites). Here is one of many lists he suggests:

12 Guiding Principles of Sustainable Consumption

Remember the big picture. Spend less time worrying about plastic bags and disposable cups and more time thinking about where you live, energy use in your home, how often and how far you drive (and fly), and what you eat.

Don’t buy stuff that you don’t need. Among the three environmental commandments—reduce, reuse, and recycle—reduce is by far the most important.

Make food, not waste. Before you buy something, think ahead to when you’ll stop using it. Every product, when you’re finished with it, should be food for either the biological economy (readily biodegradable materials) or the industrial economy (recyclable or reusable raw materials for new products).

Buy local. The closer to home a product is grown, built, or made, generally the lower transportation costs associated with pollution.

Go for quality, not quantity. Select durable products and maximize their reuse through regular maintenance and care.

Support renewable energy. Seek out products and businesses that rely on wind, solar, geothermal, or other renewable sources of power.

Make healthy choices. Avoid purchasing or using toxic and hazardous products.

Look for a high proportion of recycled content. To fulfill the promise of recycling requires people to purchase recycled products.

Demand better options…. The more people vote for environmentally informed candidates, speak up on behalf of innovative green solutions, and push for change, the sooner the shift towards a sustainable future will come about.

Among the many suggestions, there were only a couple things that didn’t vibe with me. I don’t agree with Suzuki’s recommendation to eat highly processed soy products for regular meat substitutes, and I don’t agree that we should use compact fluorescent lights. Here’s an article a friend of mine wrote on CFLs, and another on a more healthful alternative—incandescent lights. David Suzuki is human and has his own perceptual lense. He is a scientist and a modern man. I would prefer more back to basics ideas, but that is my perceptual lense. So despite the fact that I don’t agree with everything he says, I do sense that David Suzuki truly loves the natural world. He has integrity, and I trust him.

Today I signed up for his Nature Challenge. He sends a weekly e-newsletter, suggesting things you can do. Check out his website. If your library doesn’t have his book, request it. And if you just can’t get it, his website is very informative. It is largely addressed to his fellow Canadians, but the principles are universal.

And what’s more universal than time? I appreciate that Suzuki addresses our busy lifestyles. He says, “If you’re time-poor because of work or other obligations, then you’re much more likely to drive than cycle or take transit, more likely to eat fast food or junk food than prepare a healthy meal, and more likely to buy inefficient or potentially toxic products (because you lack the time to do any research). When people are time poor, they have less time to spend on the activities that create happiness, such as socializing with friends, pursuing hobbies, and engaging with their communities.” This, in itself, is revolutionary. And we homeschoolers are leaders in that front. We have time to figure out our relationships with ourselves, each other, the environment, and the spirit.

While I ardently believe in homeschooling as a revolutionary act, I have been pretty loose with my ideals and my homeschooling this year. I want to start working towards health again. So, while I don’t normally have New Year's resolutions, I really need to reassess my life and clarify my intentions. But I felt like the list in my head kept growing and growing. I’m so far from who I want to be! How did this happen?! I was feeling a lot of anxiety as the New Year approached. When I actually wrote my list down, however, it wasn’t so long. And, in fact, it was basically in line with what Suzuki says above, a wish to spend time on activities that create happiness, such as socializing with friends, pursuing hobbies, and engaging with my community.

This is my New Year’s wish to all of you.

The Sleepwalker and the Spotlight

2008-12-28T14:19:00.000-08:00

To see a child eat—is pleasure. Visceral goodness.
Eating with their fingers. Smacking their lips.
Food encircling their mouth in delight.

I am not an authority on etiquette or grace,
But I no longer eat like a child.
My food is consumed more quietly,
With functional refinement, barely touching my lips.
Rarely is a meal experienced in such a sensual, lip-smacking way.

I recently noticed, however, that I was eating loudly—
Eating loudly, perhaps, because I was eating quickly,
Shoveling. I became aware—
Like I’d been transported to a darkened, lonely stage,
And the spotlight…landing…on…me.

I was slightly embarrassed,
Like a sleepwalker being awoken
And not knowing how she got there.

From behind the red velvet curtain, an old soul reminded me—
Do not confuse etiquette with grace. Be mindful.

My spotlight expanded.
In front of me—a bowl of tangerines.

And I began my innocent monologue:

Taking hold of the tangerine,
You are taking a trip
(The inside-out
Of a mobius strip).

Peeling the tangerine,
You unleash a fragrant mist
(Scent of earthly lovers
In a springtime tryst).

Come together earth and rain,
Take hold of bundled seed,
Burst forth in fragile blossom,
And in the fruit is freed.

Each segment a ray,
Bringing light to my soul,
A season of suns,
Making me whole.

From inside-out
To outside-in,
Celestial star songs
Dripping down my chin.

~Jenell Heimbach

Persimmon Apple Crumble

2008-12-20T09:25:00.000-08:00

Crust

1 1/2 C flour
1 1/2 C sugar
2 Tbl. milk
1/4 tsp. salt
1/2 C oil

Mix flour, salt and sugar.
Make a well in the middle and add the milk and oil. Mix until all ingredients are blended.
Form evenly to cover the bottom and edges of a 9 inch pie pan.

Filling

4 C Pink Lady or Fuji apples, peeled and thinly sliced
2 C Fuyu persimmons, thinly sliced
3/4 C sugar
2 Tbl. flour
1 tsp. cinnamon

Mix all ingredients thoroughly and fill piecrust.
Bake crust and filling for 25 minutes at 375 degrees using the center rack.

Topping

1 C flour
1/2-1 C sugar
1 stick butter, firm
3/4 C chopped crispied almonds

While pie is baking, make the topping.
Mix dry ingredients well.
Cut butter into small pieces and blend into dry mixture using hands until a course mixture is formed.
When pie has cooked for 25 minutes, carefully remove from oven.
Starting on the outside, crumble topping over the filling until completely covered.
Bake an additional 25 minutes, or until top is golden brown.

Chef's Note: This recipe was adapted from Annie Main at Good Humus Farm. The recipe called for 1 cup of sugar in the topping. While my family liked it, I thought it could use less sugar and still be good. You might want to adjust the sugar amounts to your liking. I also used Nourishing Traditions crispy nuts in the topping. Here's a link for how to make them. This recipe was really fast and easy to make. I made it for myself for dinner one rare night when my family were all out and about. We've been eating it for breakfast all this week, too!

Meditations at Lagunitas

2008-12-17T11:41:00.000-08:00

Meditations at Lagunitas

All the new thinking is about loss.
In this it resembles all the old thinking.
The idea, for example, that each particular erases
the luminous clarity of a general idea. That the clown-
faced woodpecker probing the dead sculpted trunk
of that black birch is, by his presence,
some tragic falling off from a first world
of undivided light. Or the other notion that,
because there is in this world no one thing
to which the bramble of blackberry corresponds,
a word is elegy to what it signifies.
We talked about it late last night and in the voice
of my friend, there was a thin wire of grief, a tone
almost querulous. After a while I understood that,
talking this way, everything dissolves: justice,
pine, hair, woman, you and I. There was a woman
I made love to and I remembered how, holding
her small shoulders in my hands sometimes,
I felt a violent wonder at her presence
like a thirst for salt, for my childhood river
with its island willows, silly music from the pleasure boat,
muddy places where we caught the little orange-silver fish
called pumpkinseed. It hardly had to do with her.
Longing, we say, because desire is full
of endless distances. I must have been the same to her.
But I remember so much, the way her hands dismantled bread,
the thing her father said that hurt her, what
she dreamed. There are moments when the body is as numinous
as words, days that are the good flesh continuing.
Such tenderness, those afternoons and evenings,
saying blackberry, blackberry, blackberry.

~Robert Hass

This post is inspired by and in response to Mon of Holistic Mama. She wrote a great post today about the extinction of words.

Happy Birthday

2008-12-15T11:00:00.000-08:00

Birthday Rap

Despite the fact
That you're not an early riser;
Twice your age,
But I'm none the wiser.
You've got an open heart
And an open mind;
Within everyone
You see the divine.
On the Human Potential Movement,
You put a new spin~
Bringing to life
What you envision within.
Guitar, pencil and wool
You bend to your will
While reuben, chai and sushi
Give you your fill.
Happy Birthday, hippie sista'!
So sad we missed ya.
But you're in our heart
Whether near or afar....

~Jenell Heimbach

In Defense of Food Book Review

2008-12-10T17:48:00.000-08:00

In Defense of Food: An Eater's Manifesto by Michael Pollan

My review

rating: 5 of 5 stars

Having first read Michael Pollan’s The Omnivore’s Dilemma and then The Botany of Desire, I was in awe. To produce all that research, to go out in the field for interviews and first-hand experience, and then to orchestrate it all in such objective and eloquent prose—that was superhuman! And I became a humble worshipper.

Pollan’s newest work In Defense of Food is another such brilliant creation. He first talks about nutritionism, which is the reduction of foods into their constituent parts: carbohydrates, fats, proteins, and vitamins (which weren’t “discovered” until 1912!). Pollan next sets his sites on Industry (yes, with a capital “I”), and how Industry has used the science of nutritionism to commodify their products. And—not only did—does—Industry use scientific research, it also funds it, so that you have the cereal Industry touting their cholesterol-reducing effects or the pork Industry announcing it’s “the other white meat.” Then you have the diet Industry selling the Atkins diet one year and the McDougall Program the next. While he is not in any way opposed to science, Michael Pollan suggests that we have become dependent upon the “experts” to tell us what food is made of. Good nutrients? Bad nutrients? Pollan posits that thinking about food out of context disempowers the eater.

And so, in the final section of the book, Pollan aims to re-contextualize those nutrients back into what we all can recognize as food. He provides suggestions that will help us re-establish a relationship to where food comes from, how it can be made into a meal and how that meal can sustain a community. He says:

1. DON’T EAT ANYTHING YOUR GREAT GRANDMOTHER WOULDN’T RECOGNIZE AS FOOD.
2. AVOID FOOD PRODUCTS CONTAINING INGREDIENTS THAT ARE A) UNFAMILIAR, B) UNPRONOUNCEABLE, C) MORE THAN FIVE IN NUMBER, OR THAT INCLUDE D) HIGH-FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP.
3. AVOID FOOD PRODUCTS THAT MAKE HEALTH CLAIMS.
4. SHOP THE PERIPHERIES OF THE SUPERMARKET AND STAY OUT OF THE MIDDLE.
5. GET OUT OF THE SUPERMARKET WHENEVER POSSIBLE.
6. EAT MOSTLY PLANTS, ESPECIALLY LEAVES.
7. YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT EATS TOO.
8. IF YOU HAVE THE SPACE, BUY A FREEZER.
9. EAT LIKE AN OMNIVORE.
10. EAT WELL-GROWN FOOD FROM HEALTHY SOILS.
11. EAT WILD FOODS WHEN YOU CAN.
12. BE THE KIND OF PERSON WHO TAKES SUPPLEMENTS.
13. EAT MORE LIKE THE FRENCH. OR THE ITALIANS. OR THE JAPANESE. OR THE INDIANS. OR THE GREEKS.
14. REGARD NONTRADITIONAL FOODS WITH SKEPTICISM.
15. DON’T LOOK FOR THE MAGIC BULLET IN THE TRADITIONAL DIET.
16. HAVE A GLASS OF WINE WITH DINNER.
17. PAY MORE, EAT LESS.
18. EAT MEALS.
19. DO ALL YOUR EATING AT A TABLE.
20. DON’T GET YOUR FUEL FROM THE SAME PLACE YOUR CAR DOES.
21. TRY NOT TO EAT ALONE.
22. CONSULT YOUR GUT.
23. EAT SLOWLY.
24. COOK AND, IF YOU CAN, PLANT A GARDEN.

In this last section, Pollan expounds upon each item and ties it into the previous sections’ how-tos and wherefores. Pollan does like to play with words, so this list may seem a little enigmatic. You’ll just have to read the book! Michael Pollan masterfully synthesizes information from a growing movement of people who are reclaiming their health and their lives.

View all my reviews.

Green Intervention

2008-12-09T08:27:00.001-08:00

Here's a post that I'd written last year for the Winter Solstice. Times have changed, and I find myself struggling again to make good food a priority. But recently some close friends of mine worked with Good Humus, another local CSA, to gift our family with a quarter's share of vegetables. I feel like this was a green intervention--that I'd fallen off the wagon. My family and I are so grateful for our friends, for our community, for good food.

Saturday, December 22, 2007
Long ago, the answer to the question, "What's for dinner?" was simple. Go look in the garden or the larder. In my adult life, the answer is not so straightforward. The "garden" is often across continents, and the larder is my overabundant supermarket. The choices can be overwhelming, the experts confusing. What to eat? What not to eat? And, in the confusion, the "simple" alternative often has the most pull; fast food. Yuck! No wonder I never really liked food!

But, we have begun to spiral back around to the source of our food. Revolution! Although I have not tended my skill well enough to grow my own food, I do get it from growers I've met and trust. I have been buying a monthly share of Community Supported Agriculture (or CSA) on and off for years. It wasn't an easy transition for me, because I didn't have a relationship to food. Leeks? Squash? Broccoli Raab? My vegetables, along with the strange hodgepodge of food that I got from the store, took on a life of its own in the depths of my refrigerator. So what changed? I started reading. I've shared some really interesting resources at the end. I realized that I can't go on supporting the current food culture. However, because I don't have much money, it seemed like an extra expense. But remember the science experiments in my refrigerator? I don't throw out as much food anymore. That saves me a good chunk of money. Our share breaks down to be $15 each week. Not bad, really.

The farm that my food comes from is called Full Belly Farm. Each week we get a box is like Christmas. Everything in the box is seasonal and flavorful. It is truly an offering, and I want to do it justice. I pore through cookbooks and recipes, eyes a-sparkle. Then I make a weekly menu plan and supplementary shopping list. Each item I get is put to use to create new, tantalizing recipes. Each bite fills me with a profound nourishment. And I am transformed.

Although we are blessed with a window of blue skies and sunshine, today I am feeling winter's pull. Yes, even the Breadbasket of the world has its winter. Beginning this week, we will not be getting our weekly box of vegetables. The earth and farmers need a break. I appreciate the connection and deep satisfaction they bring. And, mouth watering, I look forward to the next growing season and the Christmas they bring every week.

Here's a wonderfully carnivorous winter meal from Full Moon Feast by Jessica Prentice. Being a former vegetarian, I know you could cleverly adapt this meal:

Sausage with Potatoes and Cabbage

Serves 2-4

2 tablespoons bacon drippings, olive oil, lard, or other fat
2 whole fresh sausages in casings
2 leeks, sliced thin, including much of the green part (or 1 large onion sliced thin)
1 small head cabbage (or ½ large head, shredded)
½ teaspoon caraway seeds (optional)
½ bunch greens (chard, kale, collards; or mustard, radish, or turnip greens), sliced into ribbons
3 medium potatoes (such as Yukon gold), diced
½ cup hot water or stock, or more as needed
Sea salt and freshly ground pepper to taste
½ cup sauerkraut (store bought or homemade recipe below)
Sour cream or crème fraiche

Heat the bacon drippings, oil, or fat in a large skillet over medium heat. Add the whole sausages and brown on both sides.
Add the leeks (or onions) to the pan around the sausage and sauté. When the sausage is cooked through, remove it from the pan and let it cool.
Add the shredded cabbage to the pan along with a pinch of salt and the optional caraway seeds. Continue to sauté a few minutes, until the cabbage begins to wilt.
Add the greens and stir gently.
Add the diced potatoes, another pinch of salt, and the hot water or stock. Cover, reduce the heat somewhat, and steam until potatoes are just tender. Add more water
Slice the sausage into ½ inch thick pieces and add it back to the pan, stirring to incorporate and heat through. You can also leave the sausage whole or cut it in half.
Add plenty of salt and freshly ground pepper. Taste and adjust.
Remove from the heat and stir in the optional sauerkraut.
Serve in a shallow bowl with a big dollop of sour cream or crème fraiche.

And, if you are really an adventurous food alchemist, make your own sauerkraut. This recipe is also by Jessica Prentice. But take my advice, make sure you don't forget about it if you culture it in the dark of your bedroom closet. Whoever lives with you will tear up the house trying to find what died in the wall!

Quick Kraut

Makes about 3 cups

4 cups (tightly packed) shredded cabbage
1 tablespoon sea salt
1 teaspoon caraway seeds

Put the cabbage in a bowl and sprinkle the salt over it. Using your hands, begin to squeeze and massage the cabbage to release the juices.
Once it is thoroughly wet, add the caraway seeds.
Pack the cabbage into a 1-quart, widemouthed mason jar, pressing down with your hand to release the juices.
Fill a 1-pint, narrow jar (or any jar that has a bottom narrow enough to fit in the mouth of the 1-quart jar) with water and screw the lid on. Place this second jar into the mouth of the 1-quart jar and push on it until the liquid from the cabbage rises above the vegetable matter inside.
Set this on the counter, with one jar nestled inside the other, and drape a cloth napkin over the top. Keep at room temperature for about a week, pressing down on the weight jar at least once a day and making sure that the liquid stays above the vegetable matter.
After a week of fermenting, taste and see if you like it. At this point you can remove the weight jar, screw a lid onto the kraut jar, and transfer it to the refrigerator. You can also experiment with fermenting it for longer as long as you keep a close eye on the liquid level. If too much water has evaporated, mix ½ teaspoon of salt with 1/3 cup filtered water and pour this into the jar.

Some Resources

Documentaries:

The Future of Food

The GMO Trilogy

Books:

Harvest for Hope by Jane Goodall

The Omnivore's Dilemma by Michael Pollan

Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver

Cookbooks:

Full Moon Feast by Jessica Prentice

Nourishing Traditions by Sally Fallon

The Real Dirt on Vegetables by Farmer John Peterson

Website:

Local Harvest

December Bird Song

2008-12-08T12:16:00.000-08:00

This video was taken by my daughter, Anouk.

"I was impressed with how many birds there were in our big oak tree. So, I thought of taking a video of their beautiful song. This still shows that not everything goes dead in December, but new birth gets created. It might look dead, but plants are getting ready to spring up, and the birds are singing their wonderful song. I hope you enjoy listening." ~Anouk

A Poem...

2008-12-01T09:19:00.000-08:00

“Of Particles and Presences”

Some days…I feel
Like a mountain; am I
Inert? Alive? Or
Does my body
Express a slower ecological tempo
In rhythm with the grinding of glaciers,
The tremor of the earth,
The low rumble of river rocks
As they speak of where they came from
And where they are going—
The slow precession through the equinoxes.

This is NOT a funeral durge—
A slow march to death. Today
The wind carries a message
From a professor far away, “Love
Takes time.”

Love, this coming together
Of particles and presences
In a dance weaving through the centuries.
Consciousness
Peaking and dissolving….
And yet we are not mere fractals—
God dreaming the dreamer dreaming
God….
We reunite in infinite variation,
In celebration.

Jenell Heimbach

Chocolate Chip Pumpkin Muffins and Pumpkin Seeds

2008-11-30T06:00:00.000-08:00

Chocolate Chip Pumpkin Muffins

Ingredients

• 1 small sugar pumpkin, seeded (2 cups)
• 3 cups all-purpose flour
• 2 cups white sugar
• 2 teaspoons baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
• 2 teaspoons ground cloves
• 2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
• 2 teaspoons ground nutmeg
• 1 teaspoon ground allspice
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 2/3 cup vegetable oil
• 3 eggs
• 1 cup chocolate chips
• ½ cup walnuts
• milk, for consistency

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Grease 12 muffin cups or line with paper muffin liners.

2. Split pumpkin in half. Remove seeds and strings. Place on baking sheet, cut side down. Cover with foil and bake in preheated oven until tender, about 90 minutes. Remove pumpkin pulp and puree in blender. Measure out 2 cups pumpkin puree; set aside.

3. In a large bowl, stir together flour, sugar, baking soda, baking powder, cloves, cinnamon, nutmeg, allspice and salt. In a separate bowl, beat together 2 cups pumpkin puree, vegetable oil and eggs. Stir pumpkin mixture into flour mixture until smooth. Mix in chocolate chips and walnuts. If the batter is too dry, add a little millk until it gets to that gooey goodness. Scoop batter into prepared muffin cups.

4. Bake in preheated oven for 20 to 25 minutes, until a toothpick inserted into the center of a muffin comes out clean.

Pepitas

Ingredients

• Seeds from one pumpkin
• 2 Tbl. olive oil
• 1 tsp. cayenne pepper
• salt, to taste

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Thoroughly clean pulp off of pumpkin seeds. Pat dry in a dish towel.

2. Place in a bowl and coat with oil, cayenne and salt.

3. Spread in a single layer on a baking sheet. Bake for 15-25 minutes or until golden brown. Check periodically to make sure they don't burn. You can stir them, but I find that tedious. They always seem evenly cooked to me.

Untouched Book Review

2008-11-24T19:32:00.000-08:00

Untouched: The Need for Genuine Affection in an Impersonal World by Mariana Caplan

My review

rating: 4 of 5 stars

Untouched: The Need for Genuine Affection in an Impersonal World is an excellent book. Mariana Caplan writes beautifully on our need for touch from conception to adulthood. As a psychologist, she shares her insight on touch abuse and deprivation. Although she doesn't use the term, she advocates for attachment parenting, a style of parenting that emphasizes bonding with your child through home birth, infant massage, baby wearing, breast feeding, and cosleeping, etc. This book is not only applicable to parents, though, as Caplan calls us to work on ourselves as adults. "As human beings, we need to become aware of our own power, so that we can consciously harness it as a resource and utilize it to benefit others, instead of remaining helpless at the mercy of pervasive, but relatively unimportant psychological issues. When we turn our attention and power toward getting in touch with our lives, or toward making sure that our children are given ample affection and attention in their early years, or toward acting out of compassion instead of defensiveness, then we have taken hold of the reigns of this force. Until we have admitted our ailment, and allowed this to break us open to the compassion that lies beneath, we will be uncontrollably motivated to continue to exploit our own power for selfish gain. It cannot be otherwise. Yet, when we finally allow our heart to be shared with those around us, we will be inwardly moved to sacrifice our own desires for the benefit of the greater good." She has deeply considered the impact of touch deprivation on society. Her ideas flow logically and are illustrated by thought-provoking example. Mariana Caplan lists "20 Ways to Get into Your Body," as well as various ways to get "in touch" with ourselves: meditation, breathwork, prayer, martial arts, yoga, hospitality and service of the other, and using intention to bring awareness and a goal to a need.

My worry though, upon completion of this book is, "Is this enough?!" It only seems like scratching the surface. But maybe that is the first step.

View all my reviews.

Cream of Butternut Squash Soup

2008-11-23T06:00:00.000-08:00

Serves 3-4

2 Tbl. butter or olive oil
2-3 leeks, sliced into rounds
1 fresh seasonal butternut squash, peeled, seeded, and cut into chunks
chicken stock or filtered water to cover
1 bouquet garni
½ cup cream, crème fraiche, or yogurt; or 1 cup buttermilk or half-and-half
salt and pepper to taste
crème fresh or yogurt, for garnish
finely minced rosemary, thyme, sage , or parsley leaves (or a combination of these herbs); or a grating of nutmeg; or a grind of black pepper, for garnish

1. Heat the butter or oil in a medium-sized soup pot. Add the leeks and sauté until soft.

2. Add the butternut squash, then add stock or filtered water to cover the vegetables by about ½ inch. Add the bouquet garni and bring the pot to a boil.

3. Reduce the heat and simmer until the squash is soft.

4. Turn off the heat and remove the bouquet garni.

5. Puree the soup with an immersion blender (or a standard blender), adding yogurt or other dairy, and plenty of salt and pepper as you blend. Taste the soup and adjust the seasonings—adding more salt and pepper if it’s too bland.

6. Serve in a shallow bowl with a dollop of crème fraiche (or yogurt) and a sprinkling of herbs, nutmeg, or pepper.

Chef’s Note: This is a recipe from Jessica Prentice’s Full Moon Feast: Food and the Hunger for Connection. This is one of my favorite foodie philosophy books. The recipes that I’ve tried have all been yummy, too. The buttermilk in this one made it divine. If you don’t know about Jessica, check out her website.

This is a picture of the last butternut squash from our garden. Mmmm....

Biodegradable Seed Starter Pots and Spring Gardening Preparation?!

2008-11-21T13:34:00.000-08:00

I know, I know. I have strange timing. Many of you in the northern hemisphere are either heading into winter or already in the throes of it. But just as the earth becomes inwardly active to prepare for the outbreath of spring, so must we prepare for our spring activity. Here is a spring story to get you dreaming and preparing.

I have heap composts: three foot diameter hills of scraps and yard refuse piled near my garden. Some might think them unsightly and smelly. To me, they are more beautiful than a ballet. They are a transformative dance right here in my backyard. Imagine the time lapse twirling…. This is celestial feng shui. However, not everyone shares my love affair. So last fall, I decided to move them to a less-visible place behind my garage.

When spring rolled around, I prepared to plant in the rich earth where my compost had been. But when I went out to weed, I saw something curious. Mother Earth hadn’t “rolled around”; she’d been busy already! The ground was covered in green sprouts. They didn’t look like the weeds I was accustomed to, so I gave them a chance to show themselves. When they got their first leaves, I bent down to examine them. Now, I’m not an experienced gardener, but I thought some looked like squash leaves and others had fuzz on their serrated leaves that looked suspiciously like tomato plants. Again, I let them grow. When they got those pretty little star-shaped flowers, I knew. Eighty-seven tomato plants! The vines took longer to flower. But there were forty-two of them!

I can’t believe how many seeds survived my compost and were viable. My daughter and I spaced the plants out so they had more room. But there were still so many that we decided to replant some to give away to friends. I found this helpful idea from Mother Earth News magazine: biodegradable seed starter pots. It’s really easy. If you start collecting toilet paper rolls now, you should have a good amount by spring. We bundle ours up in rubber bands and keep them in a shoe box. This could also be a great fund-raising idea!

Our self-sown garden grew and grew, producing cherry tomatoes galore. And eventually (after much speculation), we found out what the vines were: butternut and kabocha and acorn squash—and cantaloupe! The rolly-pollies and possums got to the cantaloupe before they could get very big, but we ate a golfball sized one, and it was golden juicy deliciousness.

I have been so timid about gardening. I don’t want to waste money on seeds and starters if I fail. But here, my garden practically grew itself! I did spend some time getting to know it, though. I was in the midst of reading The Secret Life of Plants and found myself communing with these little plant beings and even playing my flute for them.

As you can see, my optimistic tomatoes are still flowering, but the fruit no longer turns red. Look, there’s even a cantaloupe trying to grow! I probably should compost what’s left, but there is still so much vitality there. It stirs my spirit. I hope my blundering love inspires you into your own spring dreams.

Jerk Chicken Sandwich

2008-11-16T07:04:00.000-08:00

Serves 2

Ingredients:
2 tsp. dry jerk seasoning
2 boneless, skinless chicken breasts
1 Tbsp. prepared horseradish
¼ cup all-fruit apricot preserves
2 whole grain hamburger buns
¼ cup watercress (optional)

Directions:
1. Rub seasoning into each piece of chicken. Coat well. Cook for 30 minutes.
2. Stir horseradish into preserves until well-combined.
3. When chicken is done, turn oven to broil and toast buns facedown.
4. Place chicken on buns, top with sauce. Add watercress. Top with bun.
5. Serve.

Chef’s Note: This recipe was adapted from my daughter’s Smoothies and More! Prevention Guide. We used chicken instead of fish, because it was on-hand, and spinach instead of watercress. We had heated up someone’s leftover potato skins and took our lunch outside. Yum!

Character Analysis Book Review

2008-11-12T07:54:00.000-08:00

Character Analysis: Third, Enlarged Edition by Wilhelm Reich

My review

rating: 4 of 5 stars

Led Zeppelin, Lou Reed, Charles Bukowski, Ernest Hemingway, William Burroughs…they all leave me with a feeling of emptiness. Don’t get me wrong, I think they are all brilliant, and I enjoy them all (with the exception of Led Zeppelin). However, I can only take them in small doses. Why is that? I’ve come to the conclusion that they, among others, are masculine-centered. There is nothing wrong with masculinity or delving into your gender experience, but it does end up being one-sided. I would feel the same way about a book that excluded the male experience, as well. It leaves me with the feeling that something’s missing and makes me sad. I don’t think this should deter people from experiencing their art, though. It is one aspect of the rich human experience. You just have to be in the right frame of mind for it.

Reading Wilhelm Reich’s Character Analysis left me with a similar impression. He was brilliant. Wilhelm Reich was one of the first western scientists to contribute to the study of mind-body medicine. His methods and insights are thought-provoking. I hadn’t read a book this wonderfully challenging for a long time. There were vast sections, however, where I yearned to hear how his theories apply to me, as a woman. There is only so much penis talk you can take!

Although I wished for more coverage of women’s struggles, I kept reading. I kept reading, because it was strongly evident that Wilhelm Reich was on a quest to heal all people. He says, “Accordingly, the fear of orgastic contact constitutes the core of the fear of genuine, direct psychic contact with persons and with the processes of reality.” Reich wanted people to connect with and release their armor that no longer serves them. He wanted us to connect genuinely with each other. “Contemporary society, with its sex-negating morality and economic incompetence to guarantee the masses of its members even a bare existence, is as far removed from the recognition of such possibilities as it is from their practical application.” He was fighting against the malaise that continues to inflict the people of our world.

Like I said, this book was a challenging read. I think it was written for the professional psychoanalytic audience. While it’s not necessarily intended for the layperson, if one has an interest in getting to the root of their motivations and repressions, and a wish to experience full vitality, this makes an enlightening read. Wilhelm Reich was calling us to fight, too, to fight for our lives.

View all my reviews.

Spaghetti with Crawfish and Clams

2008-11-05T08:26:00.000-08:00

3 tbl. butter
1 onion, chopped
1 lb. hamburger
1 28 oz. can tomatoes, diced
1 can tomato paste
¼ cup red wine
2 cups water
1 tbl. oregano
1 tbl. parsley
1 tsp. rosemary
1 tsp. basil
1 tsp. thyme
salt and pepper, to taste

spaghetti noodles

crawfish and freshwater clams
3 tbl. butter
3 cloves garlic, minced

1. Melt butter and sauté onions until translucent (about five minutes). Add hamburger and brown. Stir in diced tomatoes, paste, red wine, and water. Stir in spices. Cover and simmer for half an hour.

2. Bring two pots of water to boil (one for noodles and one for crawfish and clams).

3. Fifteen minutes before you’re ready to eat, add noodles and the crawfish and clams to their respective pots. Both will need to be cooked for about ten minutes.

4. Drain and rinse noodles in cool water to stop them from cooking.

5. Melt final 3 tablespoons of butter in a pan. Pull the crawfish and clams out and sauté them with garlic for about five minutes.

6. Serve and enjoy.

Here is my daughter, communing with the crawfish....

She decided to keep three, one for each of us.

Chef’s Note: This post is going to make some people squeamish. I am an omnivore who chooses to eat meat. I’ve always thought that, being a meat-eater, I should have the courage to be able to procure my own food. My daughter actually caught our dinner.

It took my husband and I to cook it. Here is a link on how to cook crawfish. I used to fish with my family when I was a kid but have since been removed from that part of the process. This was a new experience for me as an adult and was not taken lightly. We very much appreciated the life force of the crawfish and clams. We savored this dinner.

Time Change

2008-11-01T14:21:00.000-07:00

With the rise of industrialism and the transcontinental railroad in the United States, it became necessary to establish time zones . They were introduced in 1883 and codified into law in 1918. This enabled commerce to be shipped and tracked in a timely manner. People, once used to directing their gaze to the sky or to the trusty town clock, now had time streamlined with others in their nation. While this is helpful for accountability, as well as scientific measurement, it also creates a schism between an individual and their personal relationship to time.

There are numerous ways to perceive time. What is time, anyway? It is the measurement of the movement of objects (or the procession of events) through space. Historically, however, time was important to people as a tool for understanding the duration of the day and seasons. Native Americans (and many “primitive” cultures) named the months after foods that were available during that time. Their survival depended on their intimate connection with the cycle of the seasons.

When standard time zones were made into law, Daylight Savings Time was also written in. This addition manipulated the standard time so that during the equinoxes daylight would be conserved by one hour. However, people were not ready for it, and it was repealed. The idea was toyed with until 1966, when it was written into law again with the possibility of exemption. Among the states today, Hawaii and most of Arizona claim exemption. Why was Daylight Savings Time so important? We already had standardized time to create accountability. However, the seasons still progressed as they do and became a hindrance after the autumn equinox, when the tilt of the Earth angles North America away from the sun, and hence, away from the light. Our current law stipulates that at 2 a.m. on the first Sunday in November we “fall back” or set our clocks back on hour, and on the first Sunday in March we “spring forward” or set our clocks forward one hour. What would be the benefit of this? Perhaps if we get up earlier, we will work more? This further manipulation of time is also beneficial to economic ends. It feels somewhat like a ball and chain.

When I worked an 8-5 job, Daylight Savings Time always took some adjustment of my circadian rhythms. It always felt like jet lag. I’ll have to admit that, in the last three years I’ve been homeschooling, I haven’t really been affected by it. For some reason, this year I have felt the pull of the season more acutely. It’s getting dark a couple hours earlier than it was during the summer. Consequently, I want to go to bed a couple hours earlier. This confounds my family, who knows that my "normal" bedtime is at 10. It is a little disconcerting. Bedtime at 8?! This might seem like a handicap when I normally see time as so limited anyway. But I’ve chosen to establish a different relationship with time. When my body is tired, I go to bed. Fortunately I have been afforded the opportunity to homeschool. The ball and chain is gone and so my belief that time needs to be saved.

The question remains: How can we honor our circadian rhythms—our relationship to the light? As time seems to be so inextricably linked with the economy, how can we work within the constraints of our modern world? Of capitalism? In what ways can we re-imagine it? This last question normally leads people to think about socialism, but that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about creating a new paradigm. These questions are so amazingly complex, that it’s difficult to know where to begin. Respectful dialog is always a positive step, though.

Another step may be to start at the beginning, to re-establish our relationship with the processes of our Earth and its relationship with the Sun. To work with our rhythms instead of against them. To get to know the growing cycle of our food. To work with the light instead of against it.

“It used to be that inner and outer light were one. When it became dark, a candle was lit. People sat around the light; it was a precious thing. And something enlightening always radiated from it. Today light can be had without effort by pressing a button. We can take light for granted; an unconscious and loveless relationship arises,” Manfred Schmidt-Bryabant says in The Spiritual Tasks of the Homemaker. “We cannot do without electricity any more. But we must create a way of compensating inwardly for what has been lost through external aids.”

Future Reading (any other suggestions?):

Finding Our Way: Leadership for an Uncertain Time by Margaret Wheatley

The Post-Corporate World: Life After Capitalism by David Korten

Capitalism at the Crossroads: Aligning Business, Earth, and Humanity by Stuart Hart

Express Your Freedom

2008-10-31T09:04:00.000-07:00

We inhabit a beautiful country and, beyond boundaries, a beautiful planet, an unfathomable universe, a wonder-full you. Our task is to find our will to live in an intimate relationship with all these things. Create the world you Imagine. Express your freedom.

I do not see the big loom (or the weaver!), but I do see some of the marvelous tapestry. I do not know the outcome of this presidential election. I do not care who you vote for; just vote. Vote your conscience. Get involved in your world. Heed your call--whatever it is!

I will be voting for Barack Obama. I think he can inspire and awaken our nation.
Click here for more videos from Vote For Change

Easy Navy Bean and Ham Soup

2008-10-29T06:34:00.001-07:00

Serves 3-4

2 medium yellow onions, minced
6 ribs celery, finely chopped
3 tbs. butter
6 cups (chicken) stock
3 medium baking potatoes, cubed
2 cups ham, cubed
2 15-ounce cans navy beans, rinsed
1/3 cup fresh parsley, chopped
salt and pepper, to taste

Cook onions and celery in butter until onions are translucent. Add stock, potatoes and ham. Cover and cook until potatoes are tender, about 25 minutes. Add navy beans and parsley, salt and pepper. Cook for another 5-10 minutes.

Note: I cooked this soup up quickly on the stove. But you can also prepare it in the morning, put it into your crockpot or solar cooker and cook for about 4 hours. However, if you’re going to be away longer, this soup just gets better as it cooks. Enjoy!

Busy as a Beaver

2008-10-28T14:17:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we joined Matthew for his tracking program at Paradise Beach. He wasn’t there when we arrived, so Anouk and I waited in the car. She was squirrelly and seemed to want to pick a fight with me. Her metamorphosis has been challenging for me. I’m so sad about the loss of my sweet little girl and so afraid that I will just push this growing woman away. It has not been an easy transition. She seems to be unable to control her wild energy and often pushes and goads and always wants the last word. Sometimes I tell her to just stop and ask for a few minutes of silence. It seems like the only way to get out of the power struggle—at least the only way that I know, right now. Then our friend Reed and Matthew showed up, and Anouk laid into him for awhile. Why was he late? Why did we have to talk so long about what we were going to do? Why was he acting like a kid?

As we made our way toward the river, we spotted some tracks. We are learning to track, so we like to be aware of any signs of animals. However, these were not animal tracks; they were tire tracks. We might have just dismissed them and continued on our merry way, but the neat thing about tracking is that you open yourself up to the story of the land. There was no reason a truck should’ve even been in that area; it is closed off to vehicles. Why were these tracks there? The tires looked like they had sunk deep into the sand. We thought maybe the truck had gotten stuck.

Then Matthew spotted two rectangular impressions on the outside of the tire tracks. He thought maybe they were tow truck stabilizers. Then I noticed a smaller set of tracks plowing through the willows and continuing further down the hill. Because the willows were trampled, it led us further to believe that it must have been someone who didn’t really care about the landscape. At the bottom of the incline, we found some more chaotic tracks in the sand. There were also some (from the smell of them) newly burnt logs. Maybe someone had been partying here. Maybe they had spun their wheels in the sand. Just when we thought we’d figured it out, Matthew saw more burnt logs further ahead. The riddle was pulling us forward to reveal itself. When we climbed a small hill, we found that there had been a fire in a stand of trees! The tracks must have been those of a firetruck. We were exploring the debris when Matthew remembered that he’d often seen a pile of dead branches and leaves at the base of the tree—like the river had piled up debris there over the years or someone had built a little earth shelter. We found lots of bottles, cans, clams, a lighter, a burnt boot…that might indicate the latter. Then Matthew noticed smoke. It was still burning! As he explored, he found live coals. It was VERY hot. So he called to let a ranger know to come check on it. They said sometimes it takes a couple days for a fire to burn itself out. If that’s the case, I wonder if they check up on it? Well, since Matthew always comes to the river prepared, we had a couple buckets. So we gathered water from the river and began to turn up, soak and spread the coals. Matthew dug a deep pit in the loam before he finally reached the end of the coals. And, even penetrating into the earth at the bottom, it was hot! What a story!

On one of our trips to get water, Anouk voiced her newfound complaint of “I’m bored.” She had just found a great stick that had all its bark and both its ends gnawed off by a beaver! Satisfied that the fire was out, Matthew had something he wanted to show us. He led us to some tracks in the sand and asked us if we could tell what was happening, what was being dragged, what direction it was being dragged in, etc…. It was a continuous path, about two feet wide and striped the length of it. Anouk was fading and not open to discovery and so Matthew brought her further to look at the source. He pointed to a broken tree limb and got her to compare it to her beaver stick. Once we recognized them as the work of a beaver dragging tree limbs down to the river, we saw evidence of their activity everywhere! There were tracks and gnawed trunks all over the place. If Anouk and I had been walking alone, we would’ve missed out on that story, too.

Following their tracks, we discovered more questions. We wondered why they were dragging the limbs down to the water. Beavers around here don’t live in dams; they live in the riverbank. Matthew said that they take the limbs down to the river to keep them fresh. They eat the cambium layer just under the outer bark. I asked if I could try some. Anouk was appalled, but I said I wanted to taste what beavers taste—at least as best I could. I know that cats don’t have taste buds for sweet, so I imagined that Beavers taste buds had different receptors, too. I wondered if it would be hard for us to digest, but Matthew said it is easier than grass. Surprisingly, Anouk ate her piece, too! It was very bitter but had a nutty undertone. It tasted like some buds we had sampled a couple weeks ago! And sure enough, Matthew said that this was their favorite tree. I’ll bet they co-evolved with the river: the beavers and the cottonwoods.

I decided that Anouk could probably benefit from some lunch. So I plopped down and served it up. We had roast beef sandwiches and the end of a bag of pretzels. She didn’t balk, ate it all, had some water, and seemed to have renewed energy and enthusiasm.

Now it was time to choose what to do for the remainder of our day. We narrowed it down to three choices: a treasure hunt, blindfolded drum stalking or crawfishing. We chose the latter. When we got to the water I was feeling a little warm. Suddenly an urge overcame me to throw up. I usually have an iron stomach, so this was surprising. I decided to stay behind. Remember the remainder of the pretzel bag? I think my body wanted to get rid of the salt that I had wrongly assumed was about a teaspoon of pretzel crumbs. Maybe the cottonwood helped me purge it, too. I felt better.

It was nice just sitting there. I saw all sorts of ducks, an egret, a praying mantis, and humans with their dogs. It was enjoyable watching my little girl out in the glow, too. I’ve been feeling, deep down, that this is what she needs more of at this time in her life. Her energy has been so frenetic! And the day was so expansive and relational. She and Matthew and Reed were working as a team. Anouk had the bucket and the eyes. Matthew would lift boulders, Anouk would spot the crawfish and Reed would fearlessly catch them. When it was time to go, they’d probably caught around seven. Although this wasn’t the most productive spot, it was enough. Anouk was suddenly realizing the reality of the situation and getting uncomfortable. We were going to have these for dinner. We picked the three biggest ones and let the rest go. Oh, and there were freshwater clams, too!

We drove right home. Anouk took a shower, set the table and communed with the crawfish while I made dinner. When it came time to cook Anouk’s catch, she didn’t want to watch. I was feeling a little uncertain, myself, so I enlisted Robley’s help. He even got creative with it. I’ll post our recipe on Sunday in my Recipe of the Week. We don’t usually pray before our meals, but we did for this one. There’s something about catching your own food. It evokes an intimacy and gratefulness that an amorphous, irradiated, vacuum-sealed package of beef does not. What creature is a beef anyway? A pork? It used to bother me when Robley would call ham or bacon “pig,” and now I see why; we’ve removed ourselves from the source. In some ways I want to get back to that source. Imagine how much less meat you’d eat. You might not even require as much, because of the freshness. I’ll even bet that local food has the vitamins and minerals that our bodies need. I’ll bet that a crawdad or a carrot from our biome is better for us than one from another place—even if we traveled to that other place to eat it fresh. I’m just fascinated that the Inuits get enough from their seal and whale diets. They eat what the seals eat, too. That’s another good reason to take care of our environment. If we do, it really is abundant and can sustain us, no matter where we live.

Turning Over a New Leaf

2008-10-23T09:11:00.000-07:00

When I was eleven we moved to the Bay Area in Northern California. However, the concrete jungle did not appeal to my family. My dad worked really hard to get transferred to the Sierra Nevada Mountains. Writing this, I hear him telling me that saying “mountains” is redundant, as Sierra Nevada means “snowy mountain range” in Spanish. And so we found ourselves in those snowy mountains next to a beautiful little reservoir. Besides a few cabins here and there, it was a fairly isolated place. I was allowed a lot of freedom to explore. I had some special places there: a large, flat slab of granite where I’d sit and catch lizards and listen to the wind in the trees (anyone see the movie Nell?); a place by the lake where I’d watch the ducks and herons do their wild dance; a path around the lake where I could walk like a Native American Indian, one with the forest; and a nearby glade where we’d walk and find relics of an Indian camp—grinding rocks, arrowheads, beads, crystals. This place filled me with a spirit bigger than my own and gave me a sense of connection in lonely times (otherwise known as junior high).

Since we’ve been homeschooling (and especially since my daughter is junior high age), I’ve become aware that she doesn’t have the same access to the natural world. We live in suburbia. While we are lucky enough to live near a creek, it is inhabited by homeless people and litter and graffiti. I don’t feel safe walking by myself there and would not think of letting my daughter wander there alone.

One benefit of having this creek (however unloved), is that it draws wildlife. We do go for walks together. We see green herons, ducks, squirrels, and once Anouk spotted a rat that had built a little home in a bunch of plants in the middle of the creek. There are native plants and birds and insects and lizards. And sometimes these things venture into our yard. We’ve even been visited by skunks and flocks of turkeys! Just this morning a possum was investigating our back porch. And our trees are filled with beautiful little songbirds. For living in the suburbs, we really are lucky.

I’ve lived in this town for almost thirteen years and still have not accepted it as my home. I’ve been in this house for approaching six years and still haven’t quite moved in. So, where am I?! Limbo. Not the game, but the place between heaven and hell. I’m stuck waiting for my childhood dream to somehow manifest—to live back in nature. But do we ever live out of nature?!

Who knows if I will ever get back to the woods or how long I will live in this place. Who knows?! But I’m here, now. And for as long as I am here, I vow to get to know this place. Maybe in turn, it will introduce me to myself, to my nature. And so, today, I am turning over a new leaf.

Chard Stuffed with Risotto and Mozzarella

2008-10-19T16:00:00.000-07:00

Chard Stuffed with Risotto and Mozzarella
Serves 3-6

Ingredients

• 1 1/2 cups brown rice
• 6 cups stock (chicken or vegetable)
• 1 can cream of celery soup
• 1 cup cream
• 1/2 cup parmesan cheese, grated, more for garnish
• salt & pepper, to taste
• 6 large chard leaves
• 1/2 lb mozzarella cheese
• extra virgin olive oil, for drizzling

Cook rice in 3 cups stock, until rice is barely tender. Reserve unused stock. Mix soup with cream until smooth. Stir in parmesan, salt and pepper. Add to rice and mix well. Allow rice to cool a bit. Although you can make this about an hour ahead of time, don't refrigerate the rice. It will change consistency.

Cut mozzarella into bite sized pieces and set aside for assembly.

Poach chard leaves in about 3 cups of remaining broth for about 30 seconds. Remove, drain in a dishcloth, and cut out the central stem, cutting the chard leaf in half lengthwise. Reserve cooking stock.

Note: if you are cooking this in the oven, preheat it now at 400'. But if you are using the solar cooker, don't worry about it.

Lay out a chard leaf, put a three inch ball of rice at one end of the leaf. Sink a piece of cheese into the center. Then carefully roll and place in the pan. Repeat until all the leaves have been used. If your leaf halves are big enough, you may be able to halve them again. Once your pan is full, it will look like you have really plump dolmas! Now use your reserved stock to rise halfway up the wraps.

Cover and toss them in the oven for 15 minutes or the solar cooker for a couple hours. Everything is cooked, so now you just want it to get warm and yummy!

Serve wraps topped with parmesan and olive oil.

Autumn Walkabout

2008-10-13T20:57:00.000-07:00

I have not gone on a walkabout for some time. I needed to do it--alone. Writer Rick Bass introduced me to the idea to walk with someone in mind and share what you experienced with them. A communion. A gift. This one is for my mom.

Autumn. The forest near the nature center was quiet. In the 60s, Effie Yeaw Nature Center was the first of 5,000 acres along the American River to be protected. Standing sentry at the trailhead was a two hundred year old Valley Oak. And not far away, one that had fallen in a strong winter storm some handful of years ago. The things it must have stood witness to!

It stood when the Nisenan people inhabited this area. They built their summer homes along the abundant river, once its waters had receded. Walking through here, you can imagine what it must have been like before the settlers came. The forest is no longer still. It allows me to see it. A mamma deer and her baby walk toward me as they cross my path. Penetrating further, I feel their presence; deer are everywhere. And birds: woodpeckers, black phoebes, jays, titmouse. As I stop to listen to their twitters, something bites my leg. Something small. I think it was a spider, but it walked like a crab.

Although the song of the birds was pretty, I was drawn away, toward the river. I saw a massive great egret flying overhead. I was hoping it would land close, but it flew upriver. The river was murmuring and singing its deep earthy song, and insects danced around it: bees, mating damselflies, dragonflies--and Buckeye butterflies. I wanted to take a picture, but they wouldn't let me. I wandered to a sit spot, a log by the water. The sound is so constant and soothing. It's like a soul massage. But those butterflies! I chased them all over the riverside. I guess they wouldn't be possessed.

Time began to gently pull me back, but I decided to meander. I wanted to make my own way, to let the world open up for me. To listen. To hear its message. I saw many plants, known and unknown. I found a mugwort going to seed, and asked if I could take a small bit. In an essay in Ecological Medicine, Kathleen Harrison says, "When, for instance, you meet a plant and you wish to take some of its body for medicine, you ask it if you might, and you explain what it’s for, and you give it something back. On this continent it often has been tobacco, traditionally the most sacred plant of the Americas, that is offered in exchange. I’ve thought about what is most valuable to people of our contemporary culture, and I think it’s time. Time is the thing that is most expensive to us, what we have the least of, and what we’re most jealous with. Time is the precious gift that we can offer to a plant if we want to get to know it, when we want to ask something from it. The way we can offer it time is to get to know the plant, sit with it, learn what it looks like, and maybe grow it. Even if you’re just purchasing the dried root, try to learn about that plant’s world."

I found a couple of other sit spots and tried to meditate. But it was so LOUD. The smallest creatures can be so deafening! Like the butterflies and bees, my thoughts just kept flitting. I curled up in a ball. And then I heard the message. I was waiting for something instead of living into the moment. I hadn't brought my watch, but again, time was tugging me. It said, "Get up." Within minutes, I had come full circle. The veil dropped again, and the forest quieted. I made my way back to the present, into the city and was just in time to pick up my daughter and go home. Time, huh?

Crustless Veggie Quiche

2008-10-12T12:54:00.000-07:00

Crustless Veggie Quiche
from Cooking with Sunshine by Lorraine Anderson

Yield 4 Servings

4 eggs
1 cup sour cream
1 cup small curd cottage cheese
1/2 cup grated parmesan cheese
1/4 cup unbleached white flour
1 clove garlic, pressed
1 cup steamed, chopped vegetables
1/4 cup thinly sliced scallions
2 cups grated cheddar cheese

Lightly oil a dark, 8-inch-square or 9-inch-round baking pan.

In a large bowl, beat together the eggs, sour cream, cottage cheese, parmesan cheese, flour, and garlic. Stir in the veggies (we used fresh spinach), scallions, and cheddar cheese.

Pour the mixture into the prepared baking pan, cover, and bake for 2 hours or so in the solar cooker, until firmly set.

Chef's Note: We cooked this pie for 3 hours. It was a windy day in the mid-80s. The temperature of the cooker got up to 250', but the temperature decreased 50' each half hour. The quiche did become firm, but, because of the lower cooking temperatures of the solar oven, it was more like a dinner custard than a quiche. It was tasty, though. Maybe I'll experiment with a crumble crust sprinkled on at the end.

Pulled Pork Burritos

2008-10-02T15:27:00.000-07:00

The first time we used our solar cooker, my daughter used this recipe from http://www.nimanranch.com/control/main/. They are a series of farms here in California that sustainably and humanely raise livestock. I understand that the fast food restaurant, Chipotle uses Niman ranch pork. I am fond of Chipotle carnitas burritos and think this is a good imitation with some minor changes. Pulled Ranchero BBQ Niman Ranch Pork

Percy Whatley
Awhahnee Dining Room
Yosemite, CA

3 lbs Niman Ranch Pork Shoulder, boneless

Spice rub:
1 tsp smoked paprika
1/2 tsp granulated garlic
1/2 tsp ground cumin
3/4 tsp California Chili powder
1/8 tsp ground cinnamon
pinch ground clove
1/8 tsp ground allspice
1 tsp Kosher salt or sea salt
1/2 tsp black pepper, ground

Put your solar cooker in the sun to warm up. For sanitary purposes, this is an unnecessary step. However, it does situate the cooker where you’ll want it to be so that you don’t have to move it much.

Cut your roast into ¼ or ½ pound chunks.

Combine all spice rub ingredients and mix thoroughly by hand. Generously rub the pork shoulder with spice mixture.

Place in a dark enamelware roasting pan with 1/4 c water and place the lid on. The roast will produce some steam (which will inhibit the sun from penetrating the glass). To limit that, you can use large binder clips to hold the lid on tighter.

Cook for 4 to 6 hours.

Remove pork from oven and with two forks, pull the meat apart. It should fall apart or pull apart easily. It is a good idea to use a meat thermometer when cooking meat with any type of slowcooker. Ours was 175’ F and safe to eat. It looked just like it would if you used a conventional oven.

We made burritos with lettuce, cheese, beans, rice, and salsa. It was savory!

Chef’s note: my daughter didn’t like the sweetness of the meat. So, I did adapt this recipe here, reducing the “Eastern” spices and omitting the brown sugar. I think if we made BBQ sauce like in Niman Ranch’s recipe, the spices would have been appropriate. I thought it was delicious, myself!

Solar Cooking Basics

2008-10-01T17:11:00.000-07:00

For our first attempt at solar cooking, I decided to cook a three pound pork roast. Sounds risky, you say, attempting to cook meat your first time, without the controlled heat of your oven?! Here’s something to put your fears to rest. Many people safely use slow cookers. Crockpots and solar box cookers operate on the same principle: food is cooked at low temperatures for an extended period of time. I know, it’s the low temperatures part that scares you. Crockpots usually have two settings. The low setting heats up to between 180 to 200 degrees (F), and the high setting heats up to about 280 degrees. If you look at my solar cooking charts below, you will see that the solar cooker operates on what would be the low setting of the crockpot. This is the setting that most people use while they are away from their food all day. Okay, I know that phrase “most people” isn’t very helpful when you’re worried about food safety. In How to Make and Use a Solar Box Cooker, the author states that “When the solar box is in the sun, temperatures quickly heat to 120 degrees F, where germs stop growing, and then to 150 degrees F-where PASTEURIZATION kills ALL parasites and disease organisms except heat-resistant spores. Foods cook at 180-200 degrees F-temperatures hotter than pasteurizing, so any food that is fully-cooked is also pasteurized.” If you are still concerned, do some research. This is good stuff to know, even if you’re not using a solar box cooker. Here in the United States, we have a government food safety agency. They have an informative website: http://www.foodsafety.gov/. I inserted a cooking thermometer into my roast, and it indicated that the internal temperature was pork safe at 175. That is another tool to put your mind to rest.

Time	Oven	Outside	Wind	Notes
10:30 a.m.	0	74	0	Put oven in sun
11:00	175	74	0	Clear sky today
11:30	175	77	0
12:00 p.m.	210	79	0
12:30	200	79	1	Smells good!
1:00	185	82	5
1:30	185	83	5
2:00	225	85	6
3:00	185	86	4	Condensation
4:00	225	88	3
5:00	225	88	4	Ready to eat!

Solar cooking works by channeling rays of the sun and containing them in an insulated box. If it is windy or cloudy, it affects the efficacy of the solar cooker. It is, however, still possible to cook when it’s windy. It’s even possible to cook when it’s cloudy, as long as the solar cooker is exposed to sun at least thirty minutes out of each hour.

The second time we used the cooker, I decided to make baked potato soup. I used a recipe from a crockpot cookbook, which called for five pounds of potatoes! I’ve had difficulties cooking potatoes in the crockpot before, and even in the oven with a chicken. They are stubborn little tubers! And, stubbornly, I followed the directions and filled my roasting pan with cubed potatoes and some chicken broth. You can see that the temperature hovered around the same neighborhood as when I cooked the pork roast, somewhere between 175 and 200 degrees. But when I checked the potatoes at 4:00, they were still hard. So, I rushed them into a big pot and boiled them aggressively for half an hour. The potato soup was delicious. I’m going to try it again in the solar cooker. I am really intrigued by the solar box cooker and think with some experimenting it can be just as easy to cook with as my modern, resource depleting kitchen appliances. It is empowering.

Time	Oven	Outside	Wind	Notes
10:15 a.m.	0	76	4	Partly cloudy
10:45	125	76	4	Partly cloudy
11:00	190	78	4	Partly cloudy
12:00 p.m.	210	84	Calm	Partly cloudy
1:00	200	85	4	Partly cloudy
2:00	175	86	6	Very cloudy
3:00	175	88	7	Very cloudy
4:00	175	88	6	Partly cloudy

How to Make a Solar Box Cooker

2008-09-22T22:53:00.000-07:00

I don’t know what I was thinking, building a solar box cooker at the end of September, but, you know, sometimes it’s now or never. I think it was that slippery “tomorrow” that postponed the project for so long in the first place! So, here we go…. Here’s what you’ll need:
a fairly large workplace
a fun team
1 large cardboard box (mine was 17 ½” wide by 23 ½” high by 19” long)
1 small cardboard box (this was 14” wide by 9” high by 19 ½” long)
2-3 large sheets of cardboard (for supports, lid and reflector)
1 pane of glass (I got this at Michael’s for about $10; it was 16” by 20”)
stack of newspapers
75’ regular thickness aluminum foil (I had to buy this; it was about $4)
silicone caulking (I got this for about $4)
water soluble glue (you probably have some Elmer’s glue around the house)
old paintbrush
old cup
tape measurer
scissors
Exacto knife
vises
weights
6 twisties
1 stiff hanger
wire cutters
pliers
dowel or stick for the prop
sturdy straightedge
paint (optional)
small dark enamelware pots (I got a 4 quart roasting pan for around $10)

AND—last, but not least, you’ll need: some time (this project took me—who is more comfortable reading about doing things more than actually doing them—three days to complete)

I tried to find as much stuff as I could around the house. The few necessities that I ended up buying cost me about $28. Not bad. I figured it was a lot cheaper than buying a solar box cooker, as well as 100% more satisfying. In addition to the “flying-by-the-seat-of-my-pants” instructions here, there are helpful resources for building all different kinds of solar cookers. Check out these great websites (some of which include instructions):

http://www.solarcookers.org/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solar_cooking

http://www.solarhaven.org/SolarCooking.htm

http://solarcooking.org/

See if your library carries these helpful books. I used the instructions in the second one to build our cooker:

How to Make and Use a Solar Box Cooker: Easy Cooking with Sunshine by Beverly Blum

Cooking with Sunshine: The Complete Guide to Solar Cuisine with 150 Easy Sun-Cooked Recipes by Lorraine Anderson and Rick Palkovic

The last book also has recipes, but I thought I could convert recipes that could be made in a crockpot into solar cooker recipes, too. So, I also researched crockpot and slow cooker cookbooks. For its tasty sounding recipes and whole food ingredients, I particularly liked:

Not Your Mother’s Slow Cooker Cookbook by Beth Hensperger

Day One

To begin, make sure your boxes nest inside each other with enough clearance between the sides for insulation (about 2” on each side). You’ll also want your small box to contain your cooking pot with about 1” headroom. The dimensions I chose are nearly ideal; there is enough room for heat to collect, and it’s not too deep to obstruct the sun.

The boxes you choose will determine how you seal the top part, depending on if you have top flaps or not. Make sure you look through all the instructions first and imagine how you will seal off the top. Because I couldn’t find a large enough box to contain my smaller box, I had to use a REALLY tall box and lay it on its side. Then I cut out a side to form my opening, through which I’d place the smaller box. However, I was a little haphazard in my cutting and shouldn’t have been. If you need to cut boxes down, take your time to make sure all your sides are even. That way when they’re nested, the edges will meet without gaps through which air could escape. I had to go back after I foiled everything and painstakingly measure and cut the sides.

After you’ve imagined how your boxes will fit together, you can begin!

We started by creating the reflector panel. This will eventually sit on top of the cooker to channel the rays of the sun inside. To begin with, turn your large box over, set it on a large piece of extra cardboard, and trace around it. Cut it out. With your sturdy straightedge, crease one of the longer sides 1” to 2” from the edge. Set it aside to foil later.

Next, my daughter and I cut 4” squares of cardboard to raise the small inner box up off the floor of the larger box.

Pour some glue in an old cup and mix with one part water. Now you can glue the squares together in equal stacks. We made a stack for each corner and one for the middle. You will have to determine how many you need to support your inner chamber. Set them aside to dry.

The next step is a little messy; try to keep your hands clean so that you don’t dull the shiny foil with glue. Good luck! Glue foil, shiny side out, onto boxes. Cover the inside and outside of the small box, and just the inside of the larger box. Overlap by at least an inch. There is no need to cover the flaps. Here they are, all shiny.

Make your reflector shiny, too. Don’t forget to overlap your foil by an inch to make sure your heat doesn’t escape.

Now position your cardboard stacks into the bottom of the large box and glue them down.

Clean your brushes and your workspace. My cats LOVE boxes, so I needed to make sure they were covered! We then let everything dry overnight.

Woo-hoo, we’re getting warm!

Day Two

We started by creating a lid from large pieces of extra cardboard. So, if your large box didn’t come with a lid, you’ll need to make one. Again, turn your large box over, set it onto another large piece of cardboard, and trace around it. Then trace 3” to 4” around each side to make the edges. Cut out along this outer edge. Then cut a slit to the inner line at each corner. Using your trusty straightedge, crease along your line to form the edges. Now you are ready to fold them over and attach them. After you’ve overlapped a corner, use a knife or scissors to poke two holes 1” apart through the overlapping pieces. Then, thread a twisty through both holes and twist securely in front. Make sure to pull the flaps tight as you fasten each corner.

Turn your lid over, center your glass piece in it and trace around it. Then draw a line 1” INSIDE that line. Cut following your INNER line. In this way, you are making the window just slightly smaller so that the glass can be affixed and rest securely on top. However, don’t glue it yet! You’ll want to wait until after you’ve painted everything.

Now you need to see how your boxes fit together. Insert the small box into the larger one. Add or remove cardboard from stacks to bring the two box edges level.

Once your boxes are level, crumple newspaper to fill the gaps in the bottom of your box. You’ll want to quarter your newspaper sheets and ball them up tightly. They will loosen up a little after you’ve placed them in the box.

Before you continue, you’ll need to look at your boxes together again. Can you still imagine how they will seal together? If you’re not going to use your flaps and create toppers for all sides, now is the time to cut the flaps off. I chose to use the smaller box’s longer flaps and cut the shorter ends off. Since I modified my large box, it didn’t have flaps.

Okay, now you can continue filling your walls with insulation. Center the smaller box inside and start filling it up. You may have noticed the lack of pictures that include us, but this is a sign that we were getting dirty. Our hands were black after crumpling the newspaper!

At this point, take a deep breath and take your time. You want to make sure you seal your box well. Bend the longer sides neatly over the edge of the large box and glue. You may need some vises, depending on how strong your glue is.

Look closely at my pictures to get an idea of how to create the end caps. Cut them out of excess cardboard, crease and cover what will be the inside flap in foil. Place them in their spots and make sure that they’ll seal well.

Now you can glue them inside and outside the boxes. Use vises here, as well, to hold the caps in place while they dry. We also put 2.5 pound weights on top to make sure they sealed well. Notice it’s nighttime.

If you decide to paint your cooker, now is a good time. Paint the lid and the box.

Once the paint is dry, affix your glass with the silicone caulking. This type of glue is important, as it allows the glass to expand with the heat and not break. Let dry.

Glue reflector to lid and weight.

Gettin’ warmer!

Day Three

Cut hanger, bend ends in an inch or two. I had my husband do this part; the wire was difficult to cut and made some dangerously sharp edges. If your child is going to be using the cooker, make sure and sand the wire points down. Glue one 5” strip of corrugated cardboard to the back and one to the lid of box. It needs to be your right side, as you are facing the front of the box. Use two twisties to attach your stick to the hanger as a reinforcement. When the glue is dry, you can insert the ends of the hanger into the corrugated holes and prop up the reflector, as necessary.

Put a black cookie sheet inside with an oven thermometer and set in the sun for the day to completely dry and breathe.

Notice where the sun is in your yard and play around with the reflector to maximize the light in the cooker. Where does the sun kiss your yard? This exercise gave us a chance to become more intimate with the sun, not just as a novelty, but in a survival sense.

The cooker is light enough that you can pick it up to move it when necessary. And, it was awesome! It got to 175 degrees in half an hour! We put it out at 8:45 a.m. The outside temperature was 68 degrees with a 9 mph wind. By 12:30 p.m., it was 79 degrees outside, and 250 degrees inside our cooker! It stayed there until the shade swallowed our yard. So even though today was the first day of Autumn, it isn't too late in the year for solar cooking.

Now you’re hot! You’re ready to cook. I brought our cooker in for the night to avoid deterioration from condensation. Tomorrow we’ll actually try it out!

Through the Eye of the Needle

2008-08-08T20:59:00.000-07:00

I was born in Great Falls, Montana on December 1, 1972. It was a tumultuous time. Women were fighting for equal rights. The U.N. Conference was fighting for the environment. American soldiers were in Vietnam fighting against communism. Meanwhile, Watergate exposed the widespread scandal in the Nixon administration.

When I was seven days old, The Blue Marble photo of the earth was taken.

“Apollo 17 was the last manned lunar mission. No humans since have been at a range where taking a whole-Earth photograph such as The Blue Marble would be possible.

The Blue Marble was the first clear image of an illuminated face of Earth. Released during a surge in environmental activism during the 1970s, the image was seen by many as a depiction of Earth's frailty, vulnerability, and isolation amid the expanse of space.”

"The Blue Marble." Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia. 29 Jul 2008, 18:19 UTC. Wikimedia Foundation, Inc. 9 Aug 2008 <http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=The_Blue_Marble&oldid=228649194>.

When I was a kid, I cherished my Native American heritage. I went to pow wows and rendevous and longed for a life more connected to the earth. I daydreamed about growing up and living in a beautiful place where I could live off the land. I imagined being cradled by mountains and trees and the wild. I pictured a waterwheel next to a sparkling year-round creek. I could use the water for bathing, drinking and my garden. I envisioned teaching part-time at a nearby school. I knew that Mother Earth would provide if I lived respectfully with her.

We moved to California when I was in junior high. And, as I approached college-age and started thinking about a career, my vision changed to journalism and then to music performance. In college, I switched from music to English.

I dropped out of college. Although I veered from my vision, I have no regrets. I travelled and yearned to learn from life. I did a lot of soul-searching. I made radical choices—good and bad. However, some of my choices led me into my darkest hour. When I looked in the mirror, I didn’t recognize myself. I thought there was nothing left—that I’d lost my soul. My mom always said that everything happens for a reason, but it took me many years to decipher why I needed to go through that.

No matter how authentic we believe we are living our lives, there are survival mechanisms to filter our experience and protect us. The downside is that these mechanisms also cloud our true nature. We collect personnae and all manner of accoutrements as we go. But eventually, something’s got to give. This true nature yearns to be expressed and danced. And when that happens, to some degree or other, we all encounter our personal hell. We go through the eye of the needle. It makes us face what is essential and strips away the monsters we’ve been carrying around.

I sincerely felt that this was it. I was done. I’d experienced my midlife crisis in my early twenties. I fell in love. I was on the road to health. Everything was uphill from there! I never wanted a tattoo, but I always thought that if I did get one, it would be The Blue Marble. This image has gotten me through many subsequent needle eyes.

After my daughter was born, I found a career in business administration and became intrigued with Organizational Leadership and Management. However, my original vision never evaporated completely, and I found myself spellbound by it. I got my degree in Elementary Waldorf Education. And I serendipitously found myself drawn to homeschooling and finally back to living sustainably.

I want to share my quirky, perfectly imperfect experience. I want to encourage people to face their monsters and unabashedly dance their dance—whatever that is. My wish is that we can find communion with our original nature, each other and this remarkable life on this remarkable planet—Earth.

To Read a Book...

2008-01-29T18:23:00.000-08:00

I love reading books. I even had a dream once, that I was feeding my yoni pages from a book. Wouldn't you like to know?! It IS like making love—meeting something so intensely—caressing it, pouring over it, dog-earing it, tasting it—that you don't know where the book ends and you begin. And then, collecting quotes to carry around in the afterglow.

I like to share these quotes with others. These quotes are often articulations of my intimate thoughts. But I just realized how prophylactic they are! I am using someone else's name to say what I want. How I yearn to love people the way I love books—to have juicy conversations.

But if, and when, these juicy conversations do arise, the prophylactic goes back on, walls are erected and wars are started.

Here's what Thich Nhat Hanh says:

"Do not be idolatrous about or bound to any doctrine, theory, or ideology, even Buddhist ones. All systems of thought are guiding means; they are not absolute truth.

If you have a gun, you can shoot one, two, three, five people; but if you have an ideology that you think is the absolute truth, you can kill millions."

It is in definitions that wars get started—when you start to identify something—or yourself—as being a certain way. We say--I AM my: ethnicity, gender, religion, temperament, socio-economic status, country, degree, likes and dislikes…thus forgetting that you're a being in flux. Then these definitions become dogma and pretty soon you believe that Earth is the center of the universe. Are you willing to kill to "have it your way"?

The juicy conversation is left there, withering…. Baited breath. Small deaths.